Portland Timbers

The single worst football (soccer) team in the entire universe. Stole their one and only MLS cup, always lose, and have shitty fans that are a bunch of tattooed queers who drink too much toilet-made beer and everyone thinks are obnoxious as shit. They once lost to an amateur team. Their stadium is a baseball stadium. Their coach Savarese has an insanely punchable face, and every time I see someone wearing a Portland Timbers shirt, I’m vehemently offended. Fuck them and their damn owner. To be fair, the city is all right, but their football (soccer) team can go to hell.

Bruh did you go to the Portland Timbers game last night?
Nah man. what happened?
They got smacked by the Seattle Sounders 10-0.
Bruh I’m not surprised. Seattle is clearly better.

by Tyrashion2456389 November 20, 2019

Justin Timberfake

It's what Justin Haters call Justin Timberlake, a perverted idiot from *NSUCK.­

kid1: did you see that pervert who ripped off part of Janet Jackson dress?

kid2: you mean Justin Timberfake?­

kid1: yeah

by cooj December 12, 2004

Justin Timberlake

An example for what a few blowjobs to a music exec will get you.

Wanna get ahead in the music biz? Pull a Justin Timberlake and give everyone a blowjob!

by ImTheKingOfMyWorld August 20, 2004

scissor me timber

The act of two females scissoring while a male is underneath with his penis up between their vagina's.

I caught an early flight home and walked in on my wife scissoring some chick, to which I replied "Hmmmm... Perhaps this would be a good time to scissor me timber!"

by Ssylar October 27, 2008

Portland Timbers

The Portland Timbers are a soccer team from the quaint inland village of Portland which resides near the mouth of the Colombia River in the Oregon Territory.

Know for their lack of finishing skills, The Timbers are the known as the perpetual bit*h of both the Seattle Sounders and Vancouver Whitecaps. 2011 will mark the Timbers integration with the fashionable MLS soccer league of the glorious USA.

2006 was a very disappointing season for many reasons for the Portland Timbers, and their fans. The team finishing tied for last in the table with a franchise worst 7-15-6 (27 points) record, the Offensive production was last in the league as the club only netted 25 goals, and the Timbers lost their derby with heated rival Seattle Sounders.

by icefunk December 10, 2009

timberologist

A timberologist is one who is knowledgeable about the origins, attributes, positive and negative aspects, and retail value of all types of wood, timber, lumber, and any other type of tree product.

I consulted my local timberologist at Lowes about the type of wood would be best for my new coffee table.

by Bretton and Brandon May 7, 2004

Timbercrawling

A form of offroad recreation that involves rednecks with big trucks bouncing through the trees and spilling their beer.

It's also a website (www.timbercrawler.com) where Jeeps and porn are the topics of discussion.

I went drinkin' and shooting with Bubba in his 4x4 last night, we were Timbercrawling!

by camoloveslance March 5, 2009