St. Mattress

worship from bed, usually very loud "OH GOD" repeated a lot

them: religious preference?
me: st. mattress...it's very exclusive!

by thatnoodlyappendage December 31, 2011

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Club Mattress

I'm supposed to get a work-out in, but I'm lounging in club mattress instead.

by PapiLoco June 02, 2010

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When you (Jack-off) on your brown recluse bite and then rub shit in it.

Supervisor : Bobby was late for work again.

Boss: yeah he needs to deal with that Missouri mattress or he's not gonna make the quotas.

by PhantomEagle November 24, 2023

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A no-nothing holiday such as president’s day and Columbus Day that’s mainly to give government workers a day off and to sell mattresses.

Damn the bank is closed today for that stupid mattress holiday Columbus Day. Well let’s go buy a mattress I hear they’re 30% off today.

by Dnurse15 February 18, 2024

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When someone is useless like so many matress tags that serve no purpose except to be torn off.

Jill is such a mattress Tag, she gets nothing done.

by Jasonbasinmason July 01, 2020

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wrestling the mattress is when you get so drunk you get carpet burn from performing random nondescript acts on a mattress

Jamal: Dude did you see that weird mark on Conner's ass?
Grayson: Yhea man, I think he was wrestling the mattress.

by whattheduckfuck March 25, 2014

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a comfortable thing u sleep on. and it must be white or blue and green.

u have a cool mattress! its blue and green!

by ihopeudontknowme December 16, 2022

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