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mattress

A sleep rectangle that marketers made complicated.
“Alex’s laptop melted after loading his 59th mattress comparison tab”

“Matt spent 43,981 hours browsing mattress reviews, triggering an intervention and a Boring Mattress.”
by boringmattress December 18, 2024
mugGet the mattressmug.

Queen Mattress

The counterpart of a pillow princess, a lesbian who wants to give sexual pleasure but is not interested in receiving it.
by Bleaking April 17, 2025
mugGet the Queen Mattressmug.

punching mattresses

something about a car seat
and maybe its headrest?
Will: you should stop punching mattresses.
by xxEnzoxx August 25, 2023
mugGet the punching mattressesmug.

booze mattress

also known as, laying down a booze mattress

eating a ton of 'drinking food' (pizza, burgers, fries, etc) that will soak up the booze before a night of drinking, or day drinking, if that's what you're into.

you can lay down a booze mattress AFTER a night of drinking too
hey michelle, what are you doing?
-I'm at the pub, laying down my booze mattress before the kegger tonight.
sweet. i'll be right there.

omg michelle, what a crazy night, what happened last night?
-ugh, i can't remember. let's go lay down a booze mattress at the diner and figure it out.
bloody mary, here we come.
by boooogeface May 11, 2013
mugGet the booze mattressmug.

mattress music

Mattress Music is Sex/Sexy Music.. Sexy Music you listen/dance too.
by _Tookié_ May 5, 2016
mugGet the mattress musicmug.

Save a mattress, fuck a watermelon

When you’re playing fortnite and you lose a 1v1 when you shouldn’t have
Can’t believe I lost that man, “Save a mattress, fuck a watermelon” dude
by 3of3irish December 23, 2022
mugGet the Save a mattress, fuck a watermelonmug.

Mattress Jousting

Yes, it is a game played in college frat parties but has nothing to do with actual jousting. It is the act of two male parteners who are clearly intoxicated partaking in the act of sword fighting (this is where the jousting comes from) with their wangs on a bed (mattress).

It is commonly used as a joke to people who are clearly uninformed about the slang term.
Frat boy: Hey, Jason, do you want to go mattress jousting later on tonight?
Jason: No, I'm not gay
Frat Boy: I am

John's Older Brother: Hey John have you ever gone mattress jousting?
John trying to be cool: Yeah me and steve mattress joust all the time its fun as hell
Steve: I always win
(Arguing over who wins when both are now labeled queers
John's older brother: Wow?
by ogwannabee July 27, 2009
mugGet the Mattress Joustingmug.

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