Stonewall Johnson

The white knight incarnate; a person whose irrepressible compulsion to cockblock is the only salvation of womankind. If he isn't there to prevent it, women are powerless to defend themselves against the predatory motivations of all other members of his gender. Called so because of his astounding ability to block any cock currently known to man.

Bro: Dude, Alex is such a cockblock.
Brah: Yeah, he's a regular Stonewall Johnson.
Bro: Weird, I coulda sworn he got RB's all up in that shit.
Brah: Word.

by Burley May 1, 2009

Rocky Johnson

When a male nipple achieves peak performance and maximum hardness

it's so cold out here, i just popped a rocky johnson

by Rocky Johnson October 3, 2016

Hum A Johnson

The combination of slobbing on a nob and humming one's favorite tune.

"I hum far too much johnson for my own good."

"I have an idea, how about you hum a johnson!"

"I'm gonna go tame that ass."

"I hooked up with a bitch last night."
"Did she hum your johnson?"
"Naw she gave me that gum job cus she had no teef."

by POISON DART August 25, 2008

sloppy johnson

when you cover your tally in manwhich and have your girlfriend lick it off.

Caren was so hungry she ate 5 sloppy johnsons for dinner.

by Guy Ball October 4, 2006

Hobo Johnson

Best rap/poet I’ve heard in a long while.

Have you heard Hobo Johnson’s rap, Peach Scone

by Trashist May 24, 2018

Bobby Johnson

A term used to describe a type of marijuanna normally called OG kush

"I got an optimo full of that Bobby Johnson. You wanna get faded?"

by Dr. Todd Reezee January 25, 2009

Swift Johnsoning

The art of rubbing your ass across the floor with your pants down while repeatedly saying "Oh Long Johnson"

"What are you doing here Taylor Swifting?"
"He's not Taylor Swifting, that's old stuff."
"Yeah now you do it while seeing how many times you can say Oh Long Johnson"
"Swift Johnsoning is the latest memeing craze!"

by Agnostic Priest January 22, 2019