Red reading

The result of getting your palm 'red' after fingering a menstruating gypsy woman.

I was never a fan of finger painting with my dick, so I got my monthly red reading instead.

by ko0tje August 12, 2017

phantom reading

When you’ve read an entire book but can’t remember a single thing that it said.

In school I was phantom reading.

by Kanonymous123 May 12, 2018

required reading

Just another bu**s**t compulsory activity (like in-depth studying of history or science or chemistry) in school dat usually just wastes your time/energy/patience and very seldom has any use in future life or employment.

I imagine that "required reading" has often significantly contributed to childhood dissatisfaction and lack of bonding among siblings, since many a youngster has had to sadly play by himself because Big Bro/Sis had to study books instead of paying attention to said toddler.

by QuacksO July 25, 2019

Left-reading

Interpretations of media that makes excuses for sexist/anti-lgbtq/racist themes by giving undue credit and nuance to authorial intent; especially as a way to give a pass to offensive writing in movies/books/etc you might enjoy.

"Zelda isn't actually a damsel in distress because she helps in defeating the final boss"

"No, that's just a left-reading of her role. She still has to wait around for Link to save her very frequently."

or

"The left-readings of Rey's role in Star Wars Episode 8 are too forgiving, considering she spends so much of the film trying to 'fix' men. "

by smeefus August 27, 2019

Third-Reading

When one is reading a romance book and feels as though they are third-wheeling with the characters.

“Omg Rebecca I’m reading this book and I’m totally third-reading with the main ship”

by Omg Rebecca September 15, 2019

Bert-reading

Reading of a petition perform before signing it, to find out if you should support it or not, although the title is convincing. It's the final stage before signing a petition.

X: Did you just sign that petition ?
Y: Yes, why ?
X: You know better! Please do a bert-reading next time!!
Y: Why ?
X: Petitions can be very powerful and being attention to issues that we don’t know about... but I really need you to read some of these before signing. Some of them don’t be saying nothing and actually detract from grassroots organizations that are already doing the work.

by jhumigas June 6, 2020

Sandwich-reading

The process of reading the first and last chapter of a book, and then writing an essay about what you think the books insides are.

Educated guesswork using online summary sources are also a viable method of completing sandwich-reading.

I didn't read that book. I was only sandwich-reading it to make sure key points got introduced. I couldn't read the whole thing since I was too busy.

by Somegregoryguy January 23, 2023