Goldfish

A fish that can gorw to be 6 inches that is often put in 2 gallon bowls, where ignorant karens dont do water changes, add filters or even just give them a 10 gallon tank (which still isnt enough, but far better then a fucking bowl). These ignoranuses go on facebook, asking why their goldfish died. Goldfish are great pets that do great things. Get a goldfish.

Guy 1: Why did my goldfish die?
Guy 2: That guy is in a bowl, has no filter and, by how low the water level is, i can see you dont do water changes.
Guy 1: So?
Guy 2: Thats why they died. Give your goldfish a 30 gallon tanl, with an additional 20 gallons for every other goldfish, get them a nice filter, do weekly water changes, and they will be your best friend!
Guy 1: But the guy at petco said they were fine!
Guy 2: Dont listen to big box pet store employees. They dont care about the pets, they care about their money. Lets go shopping together and get you your new pet!
Guy 1: Thanks for the info, lead the way!

by rhmfan July 15, 2021

goldfish angels

The goldfish angels are the forms of eternal happiness due to their constant smile and the joy they bring to others. On the Great Chain of Being the rank below the saints but above the angels (on level with the archangels). They preside over the goldfish missionaries which are the goldfish we know. The purpose of the missionary goldfish is to bring health and joy to humans so that we may serve to our best ability.

P. S. Atheists and Non-Christians also appreciate the benefits of the goldfish angels and their missionary brethren but they do not acknowledge their true importance.

I’m feeling the blessings of the goldfish angels right now.

by ally3:6 January 22, 2022

Goldfish farts

The act of getting high off goldfish dust

DaQuavius really enjoyed his goldfish farts last Friday

by Wet mush February 26, 2022

godfried

A perfect name to call your son. He has a great national feeling, he'll turn bald at 16, but he's the best looking guy you'll ever see. Every girl dreams about Godfried.

Girl 1: Wow, Godfried's head is so shiny.
Girl 2: I know right. Don't you just want to rub it while kissing?
Girl 3: I love how he's sweaty all the time. It makes his baldness look great.

by GodfriedBoiii May 25, 2022

Godfrey

Godfrey, The First Elden Lord is a boss in Elden Ring. Known to be respectable and an absolute Chad, complementing the tarnished when they or he dies.

Tarnished: *dies*
Godfrey: “Twas nobly fought”

Godfrey: *dies*
Godfrey: “Brave Tarnished, thy strength befits a crown”

by Tronix6114 March 2, 2023

Moody Goldfish

When two guys who are really cool and popular start a 2-man band play really good music (normally two acoustic sounding guitars).

Hey you guys are Moody Goldfish

by Chicken Man 5500 October 12, 2009

Reverse Godfather

When you intentionally give someone an offer that they can easily refuse, so they can feel included when you actually don't want to include them.

Since James is bad at golf and always slows us down, I game him a reverse godfather by inviting him to go to the course with us on the weekend of his anniversary.

by IshyMoose August 21, 2019