Progessive Blumpkin - A Procedure on how to actually get a Blumpkin
Step 1) Fart a lot in her presence during oral sex and regular fucking. Do this for at least 3 months or until she gets used to the smell of your rancid bowels.
Step 2) Shit yourself during oral sex and/or while banging the snot out of the bitch. Act completely embarassed when this happens! "I agree that was awful... let's take it into the bathroom next time!"
Step 3) Enjoy your Blumpkin filled future life together.
Step 1) Fart a lot in her presence during oral sex and regular fucking. Do this for at least 3 months or until she gets used to the smell of your rancid bowels.
Step 2) Shit yourself during oral sex and/or while banging the snot out of the bitch. Act completely embarassed when this happens! "I agree that was awful... let's take it into the bathroom next time!"
Step 3) Enjoy your Blumpkin filled future life together.
"Man that Progressive Blumpkin shit really worked! Man I can't so much as fart without that dirty whore wanting to suck my mule or least bite my nuts... thanks Progressive Blumpkin"
by Tyler Breckenridge November 10, 2005
Get the Progressive Blumpkin mug.The act of getting your dick sucked in the Dunkin' Donuts bathroom while shitting and eating a Dunkin donut.
Ron went to the bathroom with his newly purchased dozen donuts and starting chowing down while taking a shit. Then the cashier came in to clean and found Ron shitting with an open door. Not wanting to seem rude, she sucked Ron's dick. Boom, blumpkin donuts.
by tsobulker June 3, 2010
Get the blumpkin donuts mug.the sexual acrobatic super move of completing a double blumpkin by 69ing and simultaneously shitting.
*Warning*: NOT for recommended for novices.
*Warning*: NOT for recommended for novices.
Billy: Hey, can you give me a blumpkin?
Jill: Only if you give me one too!
(Both begin to chant, beginning in a soft whisper, and slowly building in volume and frenzy): BLUMP TO BLUMP!, BLUMP TO BLUMP!, BLUMP TO BLUMP!
Jill: Only if you give me one too!
(Both begin to chant, beginning in a soft whisper, and slowly building in volume and frenzy): BLUMP TO BLUMP!, BLUMP TO BLUMP!, BLUMP TO BLUMP!
by Whoopi Goldberg March 2, 2007
Get the blump to blump mug.After receiving fellatio and depositing feces in the lavatory you proceed to give a doubled handed karate chop to both sides of the neck to the person who just gave you fellatio
by coffee pot September 3, 2008
Get the Bruce Lee Blumpkin mug.by Stevie Thunder April 25, 2009
Get the Blumper Decker mug.An off-shoot of the famous Blumpkin (getting head while taking a shit) but performed in an outhouse. Porto-potties are an acceptable substitute, provided the location is rural.
by Texas Haz June 13, 2008
Get the Country Blumpkin mug.The act of getting a blowjob while taking a shit while eating a Bloomin' Onion from the Outback Steakhouse. Those three small successes equal the major one known as the 'Bloomin Blumpkin'. This is the pinnacle of achievement one can possibly attain during a lifetime. Nobel Prize winners hope to one day receive a Bloomin Blumpkin.
Sean: "You know Claire from LOST?"
Justin: "The Australian one, yeah shes pretty cute"
Sean: "I'd let her serve me a bloomin blumpkin!"
Justin: "If only! I could die a happy man after that"
Justin: "The Australian one, yeah shes pretty cute"
Sean: "I'd let her serve me a bloomin blumpkin!"
Justin: "If only! I could die a happy man after that"
by themanswh March 4, 2010
Get the Bloomin Blumpkin mug.