You fool, you blongus, you absolute utter clampongus 

Say this to someone who did something dumb.

Ben: i touched the orb after being told not to, now I'm in jail.
Jeff: why did you do that?
Ben: idk
Jeff: you fool, you blongus, you absolute utter clampongus.

You fool, you blongus, you absolute utter clampongus by The person who does things. December 7, 2020

What the absolute fuck? 

When "What the fuck?" isnt sufficiently exasperated enough, "What the absolute fuck" is used.

Same as "What the actual fuck?" except more localized in New Zealand.

John: What the absolute fuck is Jim doing?
Dave: I have no idea man

Jim: Hey Mike someone shat in your shower bro
Mike: What the absolute fuck?

John: Man this is badly organized...
Jim: Yeah I have no idea what the absolute fuck is going on.

What the absolute fuck? by BloodBomb January 5, 2011

The absolute MADLAD! 

Some sort of person who does something crazy

*Luigi spams blue shells*
Mario: You actually won the race?! The absolute MADLAD!

The absolute MADLAD! by Cat Kid aka Kid_Cat64 May 23, 2019

I lost absolute 

10x worse than losing full

He just killed me... I lost absolute!!!

I lost absolute by Mac11Glocks&9s May 22, 2021

Monster Energy Absolute Zero 

A new flavor of Monster Energy which is gaining popularity since it has absolutely zero calories, carbs AND sugar.

I don't have to worry much about the side effects of Monster Energy Absolute Zero but I still need to watch my burps!

Monster Energy Absolute Zero by NHRHS2010 March 16, 2011

the absolute cheese 

Used to express how good something is, how dumb someone is, how awesome a thing is ... etc ... it's great to describe almost anything actually!

1. No school today? That is the absolute cheese! - Lisa
2. OMG Bush, you are an absolute cheese - Dave
3. That has *got to be* the absolute cheese! - Pip

the absolute cheese by Lii September 5, 2005

what in the absolute fuck 

The most extreme variant of what the fuck. Considered to be one step above what in the actual fuck.

"Hey Tom, we're gonna need you to come in this weekend." "Really?" "Yeah. Also, the client moved the deadline from next month, to next Thursday..." "Okay...What in the absolute fuck?"

what in the absolute fuck by otakudude303 October 8, 2018