Toxic christianity 

Toxic Christianity is the Bible’s own “toxic masculinity”. It’s basically the large and problematic group of christians (usually named Karen, or Sharol/some other shit like that) that think they are better than everyone because they live under “tHe GuiDaNcE oF gOd”. They will not hesitate to spout bible verses at you and shame you for being anything other than Christian.

Person 1: “Dude! Did you hear that Sharol was shaming insert name here for being agnostic?

Person 2: “That’s Toxic Christianity!”

Toxic christianity by ChristiansAreAnnoyingAF May 4, 2022

dirty christiansen 

When having sex with a viking goddess ends abruptly after she finishes before he does. Leaving him no choice but to finish himself off resulting in cum on his hand which he then unintentionally wipes across his chin.

I never saw a man gag so dramatically as that one I pulled a dirty Christiansen on. Even after I told him how good it was for his skin!

dirty christiansen by elsbeth May 8, 2022

Eastwood Christian School 

NOUN

1. A school for people wealthy enough to attend a private school but not wealthy enough to attend Trinity.

2. Where students close their books, close their notebooks, and make sure they have something with which to write.

3. The building next to the building where students endure the boredom of assemblies and chapels.

4. Where having an entire room dedicated to costumes was more important than having a cafeteria.

Hey, some kid at Eastwood Christian School just looked up if there's an Urban Dictionary entry for their school.

Eastwood Christian School by mostlyhonestly June 22, 2022

Popcorn Christian 

Someone who randomly decides when they want to, and when they don't want to be a Christian.

I am not a popcorn christian.

Popcorn Christian by liveforgiving July 16, 2022

A Christian 

Having a day off from work, because Christian is always on holiday.

I'll take a Christian on Monday, if that's OK?

A Christian by Schnodi August 15, 2022

Fake Christians 

Oooooh! So the acting it out part is ancillary!? It’s the belief that is more important? Ok. Good to know. I thought you actually had to do the shit that the book says but you don’t have to act it out. You just do whatever you want too. Neat. Ok. Cool. I thought I was doing it wrong.

Hym “Ok. It’s not that I think the people I’m talking about are Fake Christians. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to believe that the creature is real. But you use the book as the basis of your morality. If you’re not doing what the book says, you’re also immoral. By your own standards. And that’s what this is about. When you apply the standards that are being imposed on me to the people doing the imposing. They are just as guilty as I am. And it’s not just the act that you want to control. It’s the discourse. That’s why you don’t want people to listen to me or you want to cherry-pick to which parts they listen. Because if I am too compelling, people do what I want them to do instead of doing what you want them to do. If your logos was superior you wouldn’t need to use subterfuge. You’ve proven that you (And not you, you but you in general) don’t care about people being cancelled. You just don’t think it should be you. I’m not convinced. Especially in light of recent events. They might be more right about you than you care to admit.”

Fake Christians by Hym Iam November 4, 2022

Nambour Christian College 

A school for racist inbred twats who have nothing better to do than take the piss for every unfunny joke made on the internet. Their quote “gourmet cafe” tastes like nothing the way they describe it and they somehow manage to make rats shit taste amazing, while they have a knockoff prince harry as their headmaster. If you go to this school you are most definitely made fun of at dinner parties, and just stepping within 3 ft of the school for 2 seconds makes you lose brain cells.

“Mummy, why does no one like me outside of school?”
“Because you go to the only place Satan calls hell on earth: Nambour Christian College.”

Nambour Christian College by Notactuallysrs November 12, 2022