kinning jesus

A mf that probably has a God Complex
Person one: Who do you kin?
Person two: Jesus you foolish mortal now bow down to your creator.
Person one: *Clutches wallet*
Kinning Jesus isn't a thing dumbass
by Ihavenothingtotypeherelmao April 30, 2021
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Jesus Wept

A gateway band to sex and drugs. Jesus Wept will take your meds and your girl. Virgins and posers not welcome. Comfortably Dumb.
“Man, I listened to Jesus Wept and now I’m swimming in pussy.”
by HoggedOut69 December 26, 2023
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Jesus Freaky

When born-again Christians exhibit unusually depraved sexual behavior stemming from their sexual repression.
Rick is all straight laced and likes sports and all that but behind closed doors, he loves getting pegged because he's Jesus Freaky.
by Kung Fu Jimmy December 07, 2023
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jesus window

the 24 hours after a virgin christian girl gets married and is able to engage in sexual intercourse
Im getting married tomorrow, but I'm most excited for the Jesus Window.
by whoisgary November 29, 2016
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Jesus Fucking Christ Hole

A verbal expression of overwhelming fear when a person is startled, surprised, shocked, or scared followed by extreme anger.
While Jimmy is driving on the expressway, he is suddenly cut off by another vehicle traveling ten miles per hour under the speed limit. Jimmy: "Jesus Fucking Christ Hole! You cut me off! get the fuck out of the way!"
by poop master general October 14, 2022
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testing my Jesus

When someone gets on your nerves, and your anger disproportionate to the situation at times, is testing your Jesus.
If my boss doesn't understand the company policy that he wrote, well, he's just really testing my Jesus.
by Siouxise Eileen November 30, 2023
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testing my Jesus

When someone pisses you off due to their rude, or otherwise bad behavior, and you begin to lose faith in humanity, that person is testing my Jesus
Can you believe Monica? I babysat her cat, picked her up from the airport, and took her to the mall when her car was dead - but when I need a favor, and I wouldn't really call it a favor if she's my bestie, she disappears like a cockroach when the lights come on. Friends like that be testing my Jesus.
by Siouxsie Supertramp November 21, 2023
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