Jonsense

Where a person named Jon makes a comment which makes absolutely no sense to anyone but himself.

Person A: Hey Jon, what time is it?

Jon: In a paper bag up a tree being eaten by nails

Person A: What? That was total jonsense

by Killermancarro June 12, 2011

jizzy johnson

One who belives they are tough and prematurely ejaculates in there pants at the first sight of a hot girl. Also believes they have friends when in real life no one likes them

Dude Ricardo is such a jizzy johnson now wonder why hes always playing video games

by iwhbyd March 19, 2008

Fresh Johnson

When you are doing a girl, and then she orgasms and can't control her bowels and shits on your balls.

"Damn, she gave me the ol' Fresh Johnson." said Judea.

by Josh Burnette August 26, 2008

Bookworm Johnson

1. Someone who says something about reading a book, resulting in him being a complete nerd and ultimately a Bookworm Johnson.

2. One who pours over numerous tomes with great frequency. (<-omg what a Bookworm Johnson!)

Person 1: "Yeah, I read a few pages of it the other day."
Person 2: "Oh my god you are probably the biggest Bookworm Johnson I have ever met in my entire life!"

by dickmasterflex January 12, 2012

Flop johnson

To pull your penis out of your jeans, letting it hang

Lou: "I was at this girls house and she said I had a little dick, so I pulled my dick out in her living room: flop johnson."

by TheyCallMeTheChamp January 27, 2013

Magic Johnson

To get rid of something.

Magic Johnson retired from the NBA after testing positive for HIV. Now, after several thousands of dollars spent on treatments there is not a trace of the virus in his body. So, he literally got rid of it.

Hey, man...the cops are coming, we need to do something about that weed. You should Magic Johnson that shit.

Guy #1: Hey man, what happened to that girl, Gina?
Guy #2: Ah dawg...I Magic Johnsoned that shit two weeks ago. Damn! Where you been?

by chaseburgala June 6, 2009

Tremendous Johnson

n. An unusually large unit, or penis. A schlong of significant size

adj. A person who is acting like a total tool. A real dickhead

After coming out of the men's room; one mans says to another "Holy shit, did you see the size of that guys johnson. If I were him, I would wear spandex shorts everywhere I went".

John Kerry is a Tremendous Johnson. We're lucky he didn't win the presidency.

by BigNTasty November 10, 2004