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booze mattress

also known as, laying down a booze mattress

eating a ton of 'drinking food' (pizza, burgers, fries, etc) that will soak up the booze before a night of drinking, or day drinking, if that's what you're into.

you can lay down a booze mattress AFTER a night of drinking too
hey michelle, what are you doing?
-I'm at the pub, laying down my booze mattress before the kegger tonight.
sweet. i'll be right there.

omg michelle, what a crazy night, what happened last night?
-ugh, i can't remember. let's go lay down a booze mattress at the diner and figure it out.
bloody mary, here we come.
by boooogeface May 11, 2013
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punching mattresses

something about a car seat
and maybe its headrest?
Will: you should stop punching mattresses.
by xxEnzoxx August 25, 2023
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Mattress Holiday

A no-nothing holiday such as president’s day and Columbus Day that’s mainly to give government workers a day off and to sell mattresses.
Damn the bank is closed today for that stupid mattress holiday Columbus Day. Well let’s go buy a mattress I hear they’re 30% off today.
by Dnurse15 February 18, 2024
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Mattress Bearing Bitch

A girl that has a lot of sex. Hooker. Lady of the night. Slut.
Guy 1: Wow look at that girl, she looks so hot in that short skirt with the fuck-me pumps on. I want to go get her number.
Guy 2: Stay away man, can't you tell she's a "Mattress Bearing Bitch"! If you get jiggy wit it she gonna give you the gift that keeps on givin. Your crank is will end up looking like a piece of coral and fall off.
by Ron Damint July 13, 2017
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Wrestling the mattress

wrestling the mattress is when you get so drunk you get carpet burn from performing random nondescript acts on a mattress
Jamal: Dude did you see that weird mark on Conner's ass?
Grayson: Yhea man, I think he was wrestling the mattress.
by whattheduckfuck May 4, 2014
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mattress

A sleep rectangle that marketers made complicated.
“Alex’s laptop melted after loading his 59th mattress comparison tab”

“Matt spent 43,981 hours browsing mattress reviews, triggering an intervention and a Boring Mattress.”
by boringmattress December 18, 2024
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mattress-magnetism

A strong/intense EMF-field that emanates from your bed-springs; said powerful field creates a debilitating "pull" on the iron in your blood and thus makes it very hard for you to get out of bed, especially on those occasions when it is absolutely necessary for you to do so, such as when it's time to get ready for work, you "need to pee real bad", the telephone or doorbell rings, someone else in the household (child, pet, elderly house-guest, etc.) urgently requires your assistance, etc.
I am firmly convinced dat there is a great conspiracy among Sealy, Serta, and da other major mattress-manufacturers to intentionally create mattresses that mess with your body and cause you to feel groggy and heavy when trying to lift your head up off da pillow. Perhaps they specifically design their mattresses' coil-springs to act like magnetic coils that harness the earth's magnetic field and then create a strong magnetic pull on your iron-rich blood, this "mattress-magnetism" is why it's often such a gargantuan struggle to raise yerself off da sheets.
by QuacksO January 31, 2019
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