Alan (noun):
1. The rare breed of
husband who is equal parts best friend, partner in crime, personal hero, and expert eye-roller. Known for tolerating ridiculous amounts of nonsense, fetching cups of tea without complaint (mostly), and having the
patience of a saint. Warning: once you get an Alan, you’ll never want to trade him in.
2. A mysterious creature who can simultaneously be your soulmate and the reason you want to scream into a pillow. Special skills include selective hearing, telling dad jokes at the worst possible moment, and doing that “
husband sigh” for dramatic effect. Still, you wouldn’t swap him… unless Jason Momoa was available.
3. The ultimate plot twist in life’s story — part best friend, part lover, part comedy act. Always there to hold your hand when things get tough, and usually the reason you’ve got butterflies in your stomach 20+ years later. May also come with a side of snoring and duvet-hogging. Also doubles up as the best
dad your kid could ever hope for.
WARNING
LABEL: May cause uncontrollable laughter,
random butterflies in your stomach, epic
dad moments, unexpected
dog-cuddle theft, and the occasional need to evacuate a room.
• “Stop being dramatic and get yourself an Alan — mine just carried all the shopping, fixed the WiFi, and still had
time to laugh at my worst
joke.”
• “ Ugh, my Alan just stole cuddles from the
dog and then let out a fart so powerful it cleared the living room — but he still had me laughing.”
• “Everyone needs an Alan — he’
s the reason I believe in happily ever after (even when he snores loud enough to wake the neighbours).”
