Who would Jesus bomb? 

An ungrammatical slogan occasionally appearing on the t-shirts or bumper stickers of those who can't handle concepts too big to fit on t-shirts or bumper stickers.

The correct form is "Whom would Jesus have bombed?"; since Jesus was a first-century Jewish nationalist, the most likely answer is, "The Roman Empire."

"Who would Jesus bomb?" was undoubtedly inspired by "What would Jesus do?", a question best answered by "We'll never know. Jesus wouldn't have gotten himself into the mess you're in."

You really look sharp in that 'Who would Jesus bomb?' t-shirt -- NOT!

Who would Jesus bomb? by Gahmuret June 29, 2006

Sleeping Jesus 

1. Inexpensive drug popular with youth consisting predominantly of acetaminophen (common pain reliever sold under the trade name Tylenol) and diphenhydramine (common antihistamine and sleep aid sold under the trade name Benadryl), but also containing a small amount (2-7%) of black tar heroin. Also known as cheese.

2. Individual either not paying attention to what they're doing or moving very slowly in performing some action.

1. "Hey man, try a hit of this Sleeping Jesus."

2. "I'd be there already if only sleeping Jesus here would stop driving 5 miles per hour and get going!"

Sleeping Jesus by Consiglieri July 20, 2008

sweet chocolate jesus

An act committed during sex when a man will pull his cock out of the ass of the partner, turn them around so that they are kneeling, facing him, then dab the face with poo lightly three times saying "Father, Son and the holy ghost" followed by a hard cock slap to knock the rest of the shit off.

He annointed her with a Sweet chocolate jesus and thus purged himself of the sin of feces.

sweet chocolate jesus by Ultimate Joe July 29, 2006

creeping jesus

someone who drives slow

"that amateur driver in the nissan sentra is such a creeping jesus; she's drivin like 5 miles a hour"

creeping jesus by Big Brown May 21, 2007

Whack Jesus

To be so angry at the world and your lot in it that you look skyward with a burning desire to take Jesus out with an Uzi.

I lost both my wives to Cancer...I really want to whack Jesus for this.

Whack Jesus by MudWhistle January 26, 2004

In Jesus name 

Something christians say to fool themselves into thinking they're accomplishing something by praying.
Typically followed by "amen."

Lord please make everyone else follow our beliefs because they are right and everyone else is wrong. In Jesus name, amen.

In Jesus name by JustRelax August 27, 2010

The Jesus

When you are nailing a girl in the butt standing up and you hold her arms outsrtretched like she is on the cross. She must then say CRUSIFY ME BABY!

Alan: I was nailing kathryn last night and we switched positions and i started doing the jesus.

Marc: what did she say?

Alan:CRUSIFY ME BABY!

Marc: WOAH nice you get bonus points!

The Jesus by XC Liberty League September 22, 2009