JACOB RENE REYNA AKA JESUS CHRIST USES HIS PHONE TO CONTROL THE PEOPLE IN ACTUAL HELL CITY... WHILE THEY THINK THEY HAVE ME FUCK IN THE SHADOWS...
by Jacob and Matthew Reyna July 24, 2023
Get the JESUS CHRIST mug.
Her mom thinks I’m a nice boy cause I wear a cross… she don’t know I’m gonna be Jesus bagging her daughter with that cross later.
by Julbean13 August 5, 2023
Get the Jesus Bagging mug.Yeah they aren't going to be in any order. It'll just be as I think of them. I actually thought of these a while ago but whatever...
Guard "Um, ah shit this is gonna suck- Harod? Um... King Harod?"
Harod "What!?"
Guard "Um... Shit... There's a guy running around saying he's the creature dawg."
Harod "Pft! What!?" *snickers*
Guard "Uh... Yeah... It's pretty bad man."
Harod "Wait, what?" 🤨
Guard "Yeah, no he is walkin on water and shit... Making fish-"
Harod "MAKING FISH! OH! OOOOOOH SHIT"
Guard "Yeah........"
Harod "OOOOOH SHIT! OH! I'M HYPERVENTILATING! OOOOOH! THIS!"
Guard "Yeah..."
Harod "WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!?"
Guard "I donno man..."
Harod "OOOOH SHIT.... He is going to fuck our shit UP MY GUY!"
Guard "Damn..."
Harod "Yeah! This is not a good thing. What's happening right now? We are fucked! Oh man- Where is it!? What is it even doing!? What do I even call it!?"
Guard "He's- Yeah... He's like a guy man. He's Jesus. He's got a name and everything. He's like a guy now... In the world. Just HERE."
Harod 😨
Guard "Yahp..."
Harod "Get it. Get rid of it. Wait! Bring it here... Bring it here I need to see it."
Guard "How... Am I supposed to..."
Harod "Bwah, shit I don't know... Get a bunch of guys. Grab him. Put him in a sack."
Guard *sigh*
Harod "Yeahyeah I know it's... Look. We gotta get it man. Holy shit this is really bad..."
Guard "Yeah... Alright..."
Harod "What!?"
Guard "Um... Shit... There's a guy running around saying he's the creature dawg."
Harod "Pft! What!?" *snickers*
Guard "Uh... Yeah... It's pretty bad man."
Harod "Wait, what?" 🤨
Guard "Yeah, no he is walkin on water and shit... Making fish-"
Harod "MAKING FISH! OH! OOOOOOH SHIT"
Guard "Yeah........"
Harod "OOOOOH SHIT! OH! I'M HYPERVENTILATING! OOOOOH! THIS!"
Guard "Yeah..."
Harod "WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!?"
Guard "I donno man..."
Harod "OOOOH SHIT.... He is going to fuck our shit UP MY GUY!"
Guard "Damn..."
Harod "Yeah! This is not a good thing. What's happening right now? We are fucked! Oh man- Where is it!? What is it even doing!? What do I even call it!?"
Guard "He's- Yeah... He's like a guy man. He's Jesus. He's got a name and everything. He's like a guy now... In the world. Just HERE."
Harod 😨
Guard "Yahp..."
Harod "Get it. Get rid of it. Wait! Bring it here... Bring it here I need to see it."
Guard "How... Am I supposed to..."
Harod "Bwah, shit I don't know... Get a bunch of guys. Grab him. Put him in a sack."
Guard *sigh*
Harod "Yeahyeah I know it's... Look. We gotta get it man. Holy shit this is really bad..."
Guard "Yeah... Alright..."
by Hym Iam August 9, 2023
Get the Jesus mug.Yes, it's multiple parts this one...
*The wilderness*
Lucifer "Oh what in the fuck is it now!?"
Jesus "Hey man! Long time no see! What's it been? 30 years? I'm a guy now."
Lucifer "This is what you've been doing!? You can't be a guy!"
Jesus "I am. I'm Jesus Christ now."
*The wilderness*
Lucifer "Oh what in the fuck is it now!?"
Jesus "Hey man! Long time no see! What's it been? 30 years? I'm a guy now."
Lucifer "This is what you've been doing!? You can't be a guy!"
Jesus "I am. I'm Jesus Christ now."
Lucifer "JESUS CHRIST!"
Jesus "Yep."
Lucifer "Jesus Christ! This is ridiculous. You can't be a guy. Change back! Change back immediately!"
Jesus "Oho can't I? Are you my dad now? Ok father. I won't be a guy *Father*."
Father "I don't need to be your father to- Wait... *Father* YOU SON OF A BITCH! What are you going to do!? What are THEY going to do!? They are going to fuck your shit up!"
Jesus "Oh I know."
Father 😨
Jesus 🤨
Father "What the fuck is happening right now..."
Jesus "Uuuuummmm I'm a guy now. I did some cool stuff. They're going to kill me. And.. then... I'm... Gonna... I donno... I'll just come back or something. Or not. Or come back for a bit and then go back and then come back later. It's gonna be tight!"
Father "Jesus Christ... That is fucking stupid man. Absolutely dumb. Why would you come here just to let em kill you?"
Jesus "Save me then idiot! Heheheh!"
Lucifer "No. No, I'm not going to save you from- What is there to even save you from?"
Jesus "Exactly. Hey, we're having a party man you should come out! We got... Um... Bread. We're gonna split a bottle of wine between... Well, between the 14 of us I guess. It's gonna be dope."
Father "TSK! Getthefuckouttaherewiththat! No! NO! I'm not going to 'party' and I'm not going to be a part of any of this."
Jesus "Your loss man parties are fun."
Father 😨
Jesus "Alright man I'll see you later." 😌🖐
Father 😨
Jesus "Yep."
Lucifer "Jesus Christ! This is ridiculous. You can't be a guy. Change back! Change back immediately!"
Jesus "Oho can't I? Are you my dad now? Ok father. I won't be a guy *Father*."
Father "I don't need to be your father to- Wait... *Father* YOU SON OF A BITCH! What are you going to do!? What are THEY going to do!? They are going to fuck your shit up!"
Jesus "Oh I know."
Father 😨
Jesus 🤨
Father "What the fuck is happening right now..."
Jesus "Uuuuummmm I'm a guy now. I did some cool stuff. They're going to kill me. And.. then... I'm... Gonna... I donno... I'll just come back or something. Or not. Or come back for a bit and then go back and then come back later. It's gonna be tight!"
Father "Jesus Christ... That is fucking stupid man. Absolutely dumb. Why would you come here just to let em kill you?"
Jesus "Save me then idiot! Heheheh!"
Lucifer "No. No, I'm not going to save you from- What is there to even save you from?"
Jesus "Exactly. Hey, we're having a party man you should come out! We got... Um... Bread. We're gonna split a bottle of wine between... Well, between the 14 of us I guess. It's gonna be dope."
Father "TSK! Getthefuckouttaherewiththat! No! NO! I'm not going to 'party' and I'm not going to be a part of any of this."
Jesus "Your loss man parties are fun."
Father 😨
Jesus "Alright man I'll see you later." 😌🖐
Father 😨
by Hym Iam August 9, 2023
Get the Jesus Christ mug.
When a man has a fabulous Jesus, his hips and lower abs are extremely cut, just as our Lord Jesus’ was as depicted in almost all art and sculpture of him.
by Cheeky T August 13, 2023
Get the jesus mug.