pretentious jerk

a contemptibly obnoxious person who attempts to impress others by acting of greater importance, talent, culture, etc., than he/she is actually possesses.

I don't appreciate how much you are being a pretentious jerk at dinner with my family.

My boss is such a pretentious jerk!

by Matt01 February 5, 2019

Mid-Jerk

A scenario when, as you're in the process of masturbating to porn, your friend texts you and the text pops up at the top of your viewing screen blocking some of the action.

Jerry: (Masturbating to porn)

Friend texts: yo could I borrow your notes from class? I was absent today.

Jerry: Dude you caught me mid-jerk.

by serd12 June 18, 2018

jerk punch

signature move of naweed. punching som1 in a downward jerking motion making sure the knuckles hit first causing extreme pain and usually a dead arm, called the jerk punch because of the jerking off motion of the downward punch

OMFG naweed jerk punched me and i cant fucking feel my arm omg wtf

by weedsterandzach November 12, 2010

Hot jerk

Verb: After one returns from being outside in the cold, one then proceeds to run their hands under scalding hot water, and then begins to masturbate

Dude, after I shoveled the snow I rewarded myself with a hot jerk

by Zacharees73 February 10, 2015

jerking a turd

Jerk•ing•a•turd jerk-in-uh-turd

-adjective
1. Speculative term used to refer to someone's tardiness or absence.

2. late; absent; missing.

Question: "Where's the groom?"
Answer: "I don't know. He’s probably jerking a turd."

The ceremony starts at 3:00 PM sharp. You better be there - don’t be jerkin’ a turd.

by CongratulationsDave&Chrissy! August 29, 2010

Surf and jerk

A surf and jerk is when you get a handjob while eating seafood.

Hey remember Brenda from last night, well she gave the best surf and jerk ever .

by Teejay21 March 14, 2017

emergency jerk

You had no privacy for several days and no chance to jerk off. Your balls are so sore that you cannot think straight. You jerk off the first chance you get just to relieve the tension.

I was on vacation and could not jerk off for more than a week. I was so sore that sleeping was impossible. I sneaked my way into the bathroom for an emergency jerk.

by Restoring for over five years February 16, 2015