santa

Thousands of years ago, before the dawn of man as we knew him, there was Sir Santa of Claus, an ape-like creature making crude and pointless toys out of mammoth bones and his own waste. Hurling them at chimp like creatures with crinkled hands, regardless of how they behaved the previous year. These so called toys were buried as witches and defecated upon and hurled at predators that were awoken by the searing grunts of their children. It wasn't a holly-jolly Christmas that year, for many were killed...

A warlike race of elves from the tenth planet landed on the ice-encased Earth and were immeadiatly enslaved by the unevolved Santa-ape to make his toys using galatic elven technology. For ever more fancier models, toys were made into recognizable shapes and given names like "train." But these toys were also thrown at predators and defecated upon because they were so stupid, Christmas still sucked in a big way.

Now he is a machine.

by John January 13, 2004

weed santa

n. A person who constantly and gladly shares their marijuana.

Speaker 1 "You're always sharing you weed man. You are my weed santa."
Speaker 2 "You know what, I am. I really am."

by Quita Danger March 6, 2008

Santas Beard

In the process of titty fucking a girl you will reach your climax. When releasing your seaman, aim for the girls chin. If this target is it, it will resemble a white beard such as santas, although this beard will be dripping.

Dude Ralph! The other day I was titty fucking your mom, I gave her a hardcore Santas Beard!

by B$ March 28, 2005

Santa Claus

He's making a list and checking it twice. Apparently, he'll find out who's naughty or nice.

Santa Claus is coming to town.

by Sir Ryan December 2, 2006

Santa Claws

Ferociously sharp fingernails used for ripping open presents.

Jane: Why even bother wrapping those so nicely? The kids are just going to tear them open with their Santa Claws.

by Hexis December 24, 2009

Santangelo

When a girl gives a guy a blow job repeatedly and the guy eats her out. It must all happen in the same night and the guy must be older. Usually done when sex is wanted but impossible due to lack of a condom.

Friend 1: Hey did you and Sally go all the way last night?
Friend 2: Nah, we wanted to but didn't have protection, so instead we santangeloed.

by Because your a whore March 14, 2010

Juelz Santana

The Prince Of New York Rap

Juelz: This Is Powerful Music That I Bring To The Ta~ble, Da Sequel to A~ble the way i sling Cane Cuz

by DLong April 6, 2005