smacking the glove

Masturbation while wearing a condom.

Dude 1: "I am so bored at work today. Cover for me, I'll be smacking the glove in the restroom."
Dude 2: "Will do my man. Enjoy!"

by Wizards Sleeve July 6, 2007

sacking my whacker

Just to jack off, plain and simple.

*Fap Fap Fap* Oh shit ma! Go away! I'm sacking my whacker in here!

by TexasColeSlawMassacre August 22, 2007

Shaking Hands With The Puppet Master

This is a phrase that a gentleman may use to indicate that he is about to masturbate (referring, of course, to the penis as being a metaphor for a puppeteer's hand, with the female being the puppet).

Now with your kind permission, madam, I would like to retreat into the back room and engage in shaking hands with the puppet master. I shan't be long.

Jenkins was feeling very horny yesterday, as he hadn't participated in shaking hands with the puppet master since the weekend.

by Karfungulator October 23, 2007

Schmucking

Dating someone for personal gain when you have no interest in having sex with them or being in a relationship with them.

"You know she is schmucking him for bill money, right?"

"She is always schmucking some unsuspecting dude for free meals!"

by Princs January 8, 2012

Sacking the Quarterback

Jerking off whilst looking in the mirror.

"Bobby was found Sacking the Quarterback in the boys locker room."

"I found that mother fucker Sacking the Quarterback in my parents bedroom."

by Timmy McGuire April 6, 2014

shaking hands with the governor

Male masturbation

You: Dude, sorry I'm late.
Me: What were you doing, shaking hands with the governor?

by coyote duster April 14, 2014

shaking my ass

slang for “laughing hard in my bed” used mostly in the comment section of instagram lives past midnight

“you deadass got me shaking my ass right now.”

by los G February 7, 2021