If you have had a bad day, a one-upper has had the absolute worst day of their entire life and possibly the worst in recorded history. If you met a hot guy on vacation, the one-upper banged Brad Pitt on vacation. If your
brother bought you a really
cool new CD for your birthday, the one-upper’s
brother is God. The one-upper is the most obnoxious and hateable person you have ever met, but they are probably proud that they have one-upped everyone else you ever thought you hated.
I found twenty dollars in the street the other day and I was feeling
pretty lucky, until that accursed one-upper told everybody that on that very day he discovered
Donald Trump was his
uncle. God, I hate that guy.