pull a jesus 

verb: To act in such a way during sexual activities that one looks surprisingly akin to Jesus Christ on the cross. To do this, one lies motionless with arms spread, making out in such a way that it is commonly confused with gagging.

"I can't believe that Todd would pull a Jesus last night: I guess he was drunker than I thought"

pull a jesus by hugedick April 8, 2009

come to jesus meeting 

A meeting in which a group discusses their flaws. Nobody can interupt another and they can't put words in somebody else's mouth (she doesnt like me).

After this terrible week, the staff really needs a come to jesus meeting.

come to jesus meeting by BmsGrad January 1, 2009

Smokable Jesus

Another name for marijuana. Aka: Pot, ganja, weed, etc.

Stoner #1: Dude, did you get some of that smokable Jesus?

Stoner #2: Yeah, dude! Let's get fucking ripped off our asses!

Smokable Jesus by Jebus of America April 13, 2009

Dick Jesus 

A man who believes his penis is God's gift to the world, but he does not know how to use it properly. A man who does not know how to please women sexually.

This term originated in 2018 when a group of women were describing very disappointing sexual encounters with men.

Monica: "I heard you got lucky with Trevor last night!"
Kate: "... we had sex..."
Sara: "Why the longface? I heard he was well endowed!"
Kate: "ya... but he's a total Dick Jesus"
Monica: "eew! Dick Jesus men are the WORST!"
Sara: "I don't care how beautiful his penis is, if he's a Dick Jesus, I'm not gonna waste my time."

Dick Jesus by Ovary Actor October 20, 2018

Dirty Jesus 

Bad ass beaner who eats more than just beans, and cuts more than just grass.

damn Dirty Jesus, you sure like beans. Go mow my lawn.

Dirty Jesus by sswankythegoat July 4, 2020

Light of Jesus 

When a player in Halo 2 or Halo 3 tricks a player to get close to him or her, and then throws a sticky grenade right onto the face of the player. This will make the view of the opposing player all bright from the light of the grenade. While throwing the grenade the player says "Light of Jesus" and then runs away.

I just Light of Jesus'ed that guy.

I am going to Light of Jesus this next player right in the face.

Light of Jesus by squirrelfarmer38235 June 8, 2009

kung-fu for jesus 

Some people in Alabama who are crazy and learn karate for Jesus. They are Pentecostal Crazies and speak in tongues. It's like Karate For Christ or something. It's freaky in a bad bad way.

onlooker#1: Dude, they just beat the shit out of that Hindu.
onlooker#2: Yeah, it's those crazy guys that do kung-fu for Jesus.

kung-fu for jesus by mofojimbo August 2, 2009