Protagonitis

An unfortunate condition where a person in real life has characteristics not unlike the ones a protagonist in a wish-fulfillment story would have. The symptoms of someone with Protagonitis are as follows: has a dark traumatic past, has a secret power that nobody knows about, is given some special power or talent, has a ridiculous amount of luck, and is extremely attractive to many members of the opposite sex for no apparent reason.

"If anyone you know has Protagonitis, please seek help in the form of a doctor or an editor."

by Bentoboxing December 2, 2019

protagonist privilege

when everything goes right for the protagonist for the sake of them being the protagonist

Dumbledore: Gryffindor wins the house cup!
Slytherin: but we had the most points!
Dumbledore: But Harry Potter!
Slytherin: fcking protagonist privilege

by omgarmyonces May 3, 2020

pretzels

pretzels are the best food item in the fucking universe and i will beat you to death if you say otherwise i just want to buy out the entire stock of them and eat all of them especially the little pretzel bites at auntie anne's i want to eat so many right now

give me some mother fucking pretzels or in going to peel your skin

by Sprockettttttt April 24, 2021

Free Pretzel Day

-The act of quickly moving toward a source of food in gluttonous hunger.

-Reference to the episode of "The Office" entitled "Initiation" in which Stanley, the plump African-American employee, with his face full of wonder, speed walks to the free pretzel stand and awaits his salty treat.

Mother: "Time to eat, sweetie!"

Fat Boy: *Throws Xbox controller down and rapidly dashes into the kitchen, nearly stepping on his baby sister*

Father: *Shakes head* "Free pretzel day...

by Thadus June 22, 2011

pussy protect

The female equivalent to cock block

"Dude, she is such a pussy protector!"

by Meow31338 December 1, 2013

Moist Pretzel

1) Noun. A wet, soggy pretzel
2) Adjective. Having stupid and ugly qualities
3) Noun. A stupid and utterly ugly person. Someone who nobody likes.

"You are such a moist pretzel!"

by WheatThin123 May 12, 2014

Compton Pretzel

The epitome of a great threesome. Two men sit on the ground, legs overlapping, forming a diamond shape. The female, then, sits her naked bum atop the diamond and inserts one penis into her vaginal canal, and the other into her rectum. All three partners then begin thrashing their pelvic regions around in a violent manner until simultaneous orgasm has been reached.

"Hey Booka, wanna make a Compton pretzel with me n Phallap?"

by Phallap 'n' Gurrat September 24, 2014