Coronavirus

This coronavirus is the strangest virus I've ever heard of. It's very dangerous the way it spreads. It is so mysterious the way it lurks in schools, but then dies at B&Q. It is sneaky. It can spread when buying clothes at M&S but not at Tesco. It is non-alcoholic. It can't spread when you are buying beer. It lives for two days on Amazon boxes, you must wait 48 hours to touch them but It can't survive on takeaway coffee cups, so enjoying a hot cup of costa is safe. It is the most curious thing, how it lives on footballs, ballet bars, even loo seats but dies on WWE ropes. It is spread by hair stylists, dog groomers, and dentists, but not by bank tellers, cashiers, and fast food workers. It's so smart. It won’t bother the first 10 people but it knows when the 11th person shows up so be careful if that’s you. It even knows what you want vs what you need. If you want a massage or your nails done it is very actively on the prowl and not even a mask can stop it but If you need a plumber, it is weak, and a mask will keep it away. It won't affect you in a taxi, but your not allowed to take people in your car. It also seems to be most dangerous after 5:30pm so businesses must start to close before the virus comes out and wreaks havoc upon the populations. Whoever heard of such a smart sneaky virus? 🤔

Coronavirus is cunning like a fox and comes our at night when the pubs close.

by UltimateDoge July 10, 2021

Coronavirus

A surface matter for the power struggle beneath the surface between the people trying to keep pulling the strings of the rest of the population that get their strings pulled right into a testing line or a vaccine line (or a slaughterhouse line for that matter, since a slaughterhouse is where sheep go).

The coronavirus was something that would get people's attention and distract them from continuing to fight what they were really fighting.

by The Original Agahnim July 30, 2021

coronavirass

Increased ass size from weight gained during the coronavirus pandemic.

I just saw her for the first time since we were all quarantined—she's a got quite the coronavirass now.

by UrbanCopywriter November 9, 2021

coroner

someone with corona (covid-19) / displaying covid symptoms

coroner: COUGH COUGH WHEEEEZE COFF COFF SPLUTTER POP SPIT HAAAAWK PTOOOO COUGH COUGH CAAAAAAAAAAGFF
person 1: oh my fuck ?? yo move away from that coroner
person 2: oh shit thanks the fuck

by poopsharterr August 21, 2021

Coronavirus

FUCK THIS SINCE MARCH OF 2020!

Guy 1: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK THIS!
Guy 2: What??!
Guy 1: FUCK CORONAVIRUS I JUST EATED STRANGER'S POOP
Guy 2: Chill bro!

Guy 1: NOW I CAN'T GO TO THE MALL OR AIRPORT I JUST BOUGHT A HOTEL IN RUSSIA FOR $500!!!!
Guy 2: Why you don't go to my hotel?
Guy 1: YOU ARE A NASTY FUCK! YOUR HOTEL IS DIRTY I WANT TO.... *dies*
Guy 2: If you don't believe Coronavirus.... You're dead forever
Guy 1: *Saying "FUUUUUUUUUCK" In his brain*

by Senickres August 31, 2021

Coronavirus

Even a staggering number of deaths such as a couple hundred thousand is still a small number of the world's population, as a couple million is a small number of the world's population. A lightning strike or a shark attack is a real danger, it's not a hoax, and it is potentially deadly, but for how long does each person that watched the movie Jaws or Twister (or saw footage of one of these incidents on the news) let the risk dictate their entire future life (whether they go outside or in the ocean again). A year and a half into the pandemic, you would think people would wake up. For how much longer do you take every order, follow every mandate, and fall into every line you are told to? When will people realize that the darkest hour comes when they allow it by dreaming or sleepwalking instead of waking up and fighting?

The coronavirus can kill you, so can lightning, wild animals, diseases, other people, car accidents, falls, and an endless list of things you can go through life letting fear dictate what you do and don't do. A life not lived seems worse than getting sick, life is worth losing. By living every day, you are endangering yourself and other people, when you drive to work, you are potentially endangering yourself and other people, you are part of the problem like everyone else is, and it's unavoidable.

by The Original Agahnim September 3, 2021

Coronavirus

Nowadays you have two kinds of people in the way they think about the coronavirus, you have the ones that defend any mandate, rule or law the government suggests for them, and you have the people that defend the way they've always lived, no matter how exciting the new way they are being told to live might have seemed at first. The latter group hasn't been doing much fighting to get their voices heard though, just about all of what people are seeing and hearing on TV is dominated by the first group.

Just about anything people have heard about the coronavirus in the past year and a half seems designed to make them panic and surrendee control of their lives to an outside entity that they for some reason began to trust more than themselves to take care of them, even if taking care of themselves was never a major issue before 2020.

by The Original Agahnim September 15, 2021