Certified Idiot

A certified idiot is a math teacher who doesn’t know that five is less than six.

My math teachers must be a certified idiot; he doesn’t know that five is less than six.

by BbJjDd October 8, 2022

Certified by Dyson

(Noun) The ability to perform fellacio so successfully that the Receiver claims the Giver could suck start a Dyson vacuum cleaner without it being plugged into a power source. Also referred to as the ability to "suck one's soul out" and/or " To suck a golf ball through a garden hose."

" That girl's so good she deserves knee pads and must be Certified by Dyson."

by AnaVaille September 28, 2025

certified mieszko classic

Sytuacja spawnująca sie kiedy frekwencja jest w okolicach 40-50%
- twoja matka grozi ci wypisaniem z mieszka/przepisaniem do szkoły publicznej

- jesli dalej nie bedziesz chodzic do szkoly to nie bede tyle kurwa placic
- od jutra idziesz do osemki xd
>certified mieszko classic

by niemozliwe January 15, 2024

certified._emo

A Tiktoker who wants to gulp gulp kokushibo’s cockushibo and makes gay Gacha videos about women kissing

Hey, did you hear about certified._emo’s new yeast infection?

by Wihskjgwijhsihgwkjhskbuibus October 9, 2022

certified pussy slayer

jodh fishburn

Jodh is such a certified pussy slayer!!!

by ellie hb December 7, 2021

Bizzle Certified

A certification provided by the one and only, Bizzle. The highest honor and a symbol of authenticity and grace. When you see someone or something is Bizzle certified there is guaranteed class and grace in them.

Comes from the youtuber Bizzlesnaff

Grace: Wow look at Max, he's so perfect..
Ashley: Yeah, I heard he's Bizzle Certified.

by LongPinkObject November 19, 2020

G.I.A Certified

When a diamond has been officially graded by the Gemological Institute of America (GIA) — the most trusted and respected source in the diamond world. GIA don’t play. If it says GIA certified, that means the diamond is real, has receipts, and got evaluated for quality (cut, clarity, color, and carat). It’s not just somebody sayin’ it look good — it’s officially documented and backed.

This what rappers talkin’ about when they say “GIA certified diamonds.” It’s that top-tier, no cap, certified shine.

Been Georgia-certified since day one—now my neck G.I.A Certified too. Pressure every way.

by visionaryshit May 9, 2025