Office-Fu

The fine art of giveing the illusion of hard work without actually doing anything.

Jeff: "What do you mean you got a raise, you dont do shit!?"

Josh: "My Office-Fu is strong."

by Grogle January 14, 2009

Office Martyr

The person in the office who perceives their work ethic and productivity to be vastly greater than the other workers. This person often adopts the attitude that doing the work alone is better than cleaning up the mess made by others. This person may be prone to neurotic diplays in temperment. The neurotic office martyr is the worst personality for any type of management position as they will suffer from extreme stress and live in fear of being undermined or undervalued.

Betty: How am I supposed to get all of this work done when I've got people who can't even read a memo!
Alice: Have you tried working with them?
Betty: How can I work with them? I have a huge pile of papers here and no one knows how to do this but me!
Alice: Can't someone else be taught to do it?
Betty: Never mind! I don't know why I come to you. You never support me. I can't even go to the bathroom in this place, I have so much to do!!! I don't know how much longer I should be expected to put up with this!
Alice: Wow, you really are the office martyr.

by Capitoladreamin July 24, 2009

office slut

A typically young and flirty co-worker that flirts, or sleeps her way through her life, friends, and jobs. often times she is unable to actually do her work, and is only hired/promoted because of her looks. she is able to keep her job because the older married boss likes having something to look at, flirt with, do something with, or have sex with her. When she does inevitably screw-up she isn't yelled at, unlike her homelee, modest, mature co-workers, but she is gently "talked to" and almost tutored like a child in order to help her "get" her job because she is the dumbest P-O-S screw-up to ever walk the face of the Earth.

when Nicki demanded that Ryan fire VALERIE due to her shitty attitude, poor attendance, and inability to do the job right; Ryan (the boss) was hesitant because she was the "office slut" that he liked to flirt with. they argued for almost an hour, people walking by Ryan's office could hear Nicki yelling at him to fire valerie.

eventually, Ryan gave in and both of them had a private meeting with Valerie the next day. when Valerie learned that she was getting fired she cried, and poured on the "sob story" of how she was dumped by her lame boyfriend, and how she is homeless. not only did Valerie end up keeping her job, but by the next week she was promoted because she was fucking the boss.

by angry co-worker November 9, 2007

Congressional Booty Office

(n.)- Highly secretive Washington, DC dance club (referred to in public as the 'CBO' or 'Congressional Budget Office') located beneath the old supreme court chambers of the US Capitol. Constructed during the renovation of the Capitol building after its torching at British hands in the War of 1812, it hosts some of the hottest escorts y'all ever saw and has been the site of many political conflicts which have changed the course of American history. Most recent of these was Senator Harry Reid's (D-NV) crazy fucking chain fight beatdown of Representative Mike Pence (R-IN), an event credited with securing crucial votes for the passage of health care reform. Other historic events taking place there include:
-John C. Calhoun's totally dickish keying of Abraham Lincoln's tricked out carriage, an act of aggression which elevated North-South tensions in the years before the Civil War
-The lap dances received by anti-suffragist lawmakers, thus increasing their respect for women and changing their votes on the eve of a crucial vote on the 19th amendment
-The awesome blowjob given by Sarah Palin to a senior McCain campaign adviser who, after multiple hits on the CBO's famous eight foot bong known affectionately as "The General Sherman," made the campaign-crippling decision to recommend her as John McCain's running mate in the 2008 presidential election.

Representative A (on phone): Hey you commie faggot, I'll show you where to shove your goddamn environmental regulations.
Representative B: Fuck you, you racist neo-nazi asshole. If you want to fight let's take this to the Congressional Booty Office, pussy.

by Cook1903 May 1, 2010

Office Cowboy

Corporate office dewler (usually in management or above) always replete with pager, cell phone, blackberry, etc., who uses said devices in public areas such as an elevator in order to pretend to be busy and avoid contact with lesser employees.

Did you notice the office cowboy on the elevator? There was no way he could get reception in there.

by Walk May 24, 2006

OFFICE LAUGH

the most common defintion of an office laugh is when something goes terribly wrong or a 420 pound head honcho farts and then everyone just stares at each other for a few miliseconds and then everyone starts laughing its scary to watch actually!!

if you are in a situation like this just laugh until ur intestines bleed or get a hernia..

its the financial eviquilent of cutting ur own testicles off, 9 to fiving it for pittance..wats the point???

niall: fucks up does nothing about a problem that should have been done MONTHS AGO..But doesn't due to favouritism and whos ur uncle etc..

everyone else: just does the office laugh

ricky: just does this ... :| clocks out early..

by OFFICEINTESTINESRUPTUREDFW April 12, 2009

Office Fever

Feeling crazy at work inside an office.

The accountant experienced office fever when the photocopy machine malfunctioned; he initiated a heated argument with it.

by strawberryx May 18, 2011