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Advanced Awkward Turtle

Advanced Awkward Turtle

Advanced Awkward Turtle is the next stage in evolutionary awkwardness.
To perform the Advanced Awkward Turtle there are three preliminary conditions you must be sure are in place.
Make sure to find an introverted, lonely looking person. Preferably one that is sitting alone. Also, make sure that he/she has a free hand that is placed on a flat surface, with the palm facing down. Lastly, make sure that the hand is within reach. With these conditions, you are ready to perform the Advanced Awkward Turtle.

First, place your opposing hand directly on top of his/her free hand with your palm facing down and your fingers pointing the same direction. Next, make eye contact as you start to rotate your thumbs counter-clockwise(as in standard awkward turtle). Wait until awkwardness ensues. If awkwardness does not become apparent, follow the next steps.

Decrease the distance between your face and theirs, while increasing the rotational speed of your thumbs.
Advanced Awkward Turtle would be used in these situations.

Billy, the boy who never talks, is sitting alone. Until you walk over and get intimately awkward with him.

A bully is picking on you, so you bust out the Awkward Turtle. A gentle wink thrown in will make sure he will never go near you again.

Works very well in breaking the ice, or annihilate it completely.
by Bubba Franks Man March 12, 2009
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awkward dad moment

When a person's father says something inappropriate or uncomfortable in front of their child. This most commonly happens in front of the child's friends when they are a teenager or grown-up.
Dad: "So, anyway I found out she likes it when I shoot it on her face. It happened on accident of course, but it ended up being a good thing."

Kid 1: "Sick dad! That's my mom! What an awkward dad moment."

Kid 2: "Whoa dude your dad is a freak!"
by westfalia December 17, 2009
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awkward chuckle

A polite gesture used to make a bad joke less awkward. But, in turn, creates an increasingly more awkward situation.

Often used at small cocktail gatherings with not enough hard liquor available, and weddings with cash bars.
At Uncle Grayson's funeral, Marly told that completely innapropriate joke that caused the awkward chuckle to ripple throughout the room.
by OBAM December 9, 2008
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Awkward Egyptian

Just a smidgeon below the Awkward Woolly Mammoth, the Awkward Egyptian consists of this: hands together above one's head with elbows slightly bent, a consistent head bobbing motion, and the singing of The Bangles classic "Walk Like An Egyptian" as one slowly backs away from the awkward situation.
*John stares deeply into a book.* "Dude, where's Waldo?!*
Waldo: "I'm right here..."
John: *Awkward Egyptian*
by NoPants aka Pvt. Wenchell December 17, 2008
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awkward sauce

a sauce that can be drizzled onto any noun, adjective, verb, adverb, or any other word describing it as completely and utterly awkward.
dayummm that tall blonde chick that bounces when she walks....k.s........has awkward sauce written all over her
by totesadore.biotch August 25, 2009
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Awkward Monster

Someone that's awkwardly huge/tall
Word created by Ruby
"Woah that girl is such an awkward monster"
"Yeah you're right! She's so tall"
by jelydas March 30, 2010
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awkward switch swap

the act of walking towards somebody and trying to switch sides of the hallway or street, when they switch to the same side as you, and you try to switch back and they switch to the same side as you.
person 1: that chick totally awkward switch swapped me.

person 2: what a cunt!
by the :#r May 12, 2010
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