Staff sergeant: jesus h. christ on a tin fucking crutch!, carl what the fucking hell have you done?!
specialist Carl: exactly what you told me to do sergeant I burn the shitter.
Staff sergeant: jesus christ, carl do as I mean not as I say!!
specialist Carl: exactly what you told me to do sergeant I burn the shitter.
Staff sergeant: jesus christ, carl do as I mean not as I say!!
by Sparttjbkibweq23SsChief June 15, 2017
Get the jesus h. christ on a tin fucking crutchmug. Letter from Pilate to Tiberius Caesar
A young man appeared in Galilee preaching with humble unction, a new law in the Name of the GOD that had sent Him. At first I was apprehensive that His design was to stir up the people against the Romans, but my fears were soon dispelled. Jesus of Nazareth spoke rather as a friend of the Romans than of the Jews. One day I observed in the midst of a group of people a young man who was leaning against a tree, calmly addressing the multitude. I was told it was Jesus. This I could easily have suspected so great was the difference between Him and those who were listening to Him. His GOLDEN COLORED HAIR and beard gave to his appearance a celestial aspect. He appeared to be about 30 years of age. Never have I seen a sweeter or more serene countenance. What a contrast between Him and His bearers with their black beards and tawny complexions! Unwilling to interrupt Him by my presence, I continued my walk but signified to my secretary to join the group and listen. Later, my secretary reported that never had he seen in the works of all the philosophers anything that compared to the teachings of Jesus. He told me that Jesus was neither seditious nor rebellious, so we extended to Him our protection. He was at liberty to act, to speak, to assemble and to address the people. This unlimited freedom provoked the Jews -- not the poor but the rich and powerful.
See Washing Library
Your most obedient servant,
Pontius Pilate
A young man appeared in Galilee preaching with humble unction, a new law in the Name of the GOD that had sent Him. At first I was apprehensive that His design was to stir up the people against the Romans, but my fears were soon dispelled. Jesus of Nazareth spoke rather as a friend of the Romans than of the Jews. One day I observed in the midst of a group of people a young man who was leaning against a tree, calmly addressing the multitude. I was told it was Jesus. This I could easily have suspected so great was the difference between Him and those who were listening to Him. His GOLDEN COLORED HAIR and beard gave to his appearance a celestial aspect. He appeared to be about 30 years of age. Never have I seen a sweeter or more serene countenance. What a contrast between Him and His bearers with their black beards and tawny complexions! Unwilling to interrupt Him by my presence, I continued my walk but signified to my secretary to join the group and listen. Later, my secretary reported that never had he seen in the works of all the philosophers anything that compared to the teachings of Jesus. He told me that Jesus was neither seditious nor rebellious, so we extended to Him our protection. He was at liberty to act, to speak, to assemble and to address the people. This unlimited freedom provoked the Jews -- not the poor but the rich and powerful.
See Washing Library
Your most obedient servant,
Pontius Pilate
Jesus Yeshua was seated at the right hand of GOD his Father in the begining! As was The Holy Spirit and Wisdom. The FEAR of GOD is the first sign of Wisdom!
by THE-INTELLECTUAL July 13, 2024
Get the Jesus [Yeshua]mug. Man of few words. Great at basketball and athletics, gives his friends guidance and most importantly gets all the butches with his non-ashy skin
by Izzydaballer February 7, 2017
Get the Black Jesusmug. by oashiojdiojsdf July 17, 2019
Get the PopTart Jesusmug. Means - God Saves. Salvation.
The Way, the Truth and the Life. Son of God. Messiah. King of Kings and Lord of Lords. Jesus is Lord. The only one who can save our souls. His sinless, spotless blood was shed for humanity around 2,000 years ago. He is the most loving person you would ever know. Full of compassion and mercy, He revealed the loving nature of God. He knows everything about everyone. He is the Lamb of God and the Lion of Judah. No one can compare to Jesus. He performed many miracles. He cast out demons. He healed everyone He met. He cured the blind, healed the crippled and lame, He preached on repentance and forgiveness. He is God in the flesh. Immanuel means literally 'God with us'. The first man to have been born into this world of a virgin and therefore able to live without the sinful nature and never sin once. He defeated death and rose again on the third day. His first disciples were martyred for the faith, brutally killed for preaching about what they had seen and heard with their own eyes.
The Way, the Truth and the Life. Son of God. Messiah. King of Kings and Lord of Lords. Jesus is Lord. The only one who can save our souls. His sinless, spotless blood was shed for humanity around 2,000 years ago. He is the most loving person you would ever know. Full of compassion and mercy, He revealed the loving nature of God. He knows everything about everyone. He is the Lamb of God and the Lion of Judah. No one can compare to Jesus. He performed many miracles. He cast out demons. He healed everyone He met. He cured the blind, healed the crippled and lame, He preached on repentance and forgiveness. He is God in the flesh. Immanuel means literally 'God with us'. The first man to have been born into this world of a virgin and therefore able to live without the sinful nature and never sin once. He defeated death and rose again on the third day. His first disciples were martyred for the faith, brutally killed for preaching about what they had seen and heard with their own eyes.
"Jesus is my Lord and Saviour"
"Lord Jesus is beautiful beyond description."
"Jesus is my closest friend, I am going to meet Him in Heaven"
"Jesus wants us to love our enemies and love our neighbour as ourselves"
"Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, the risen Christ"
"Everything about Jesus is pure, right and true. He has the power to save us and make us whole. No one can ever love each one of us as much as He does"
"Lord Jesus is beautiful beyond description."
"Jesus is my closest friend, I am going to meet Him in Heaven"
"Jesus wants us to love our enemies and love our neighbour as ourselves"
"Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, the risen Christ"
"Everything about Jesus is pure, right and true. He has the power to save us and make us whole. No one can ever love each one of us as much as He does"
by heavensjewels April 3, 2022
Get the Jesusmug. When I say I pulled out the Jesus card: I have just done something almost impossible or something shouldn't have happened. (Got lucky as hell)
by Lore_boi October 26, 2020
Get the Jesus Cardmug. Remember how I was all "I'm closer to Jesus than you'll ever be" and now I'm like this celibate whipping boy who's being ritualistically cannibalized as a result of my perceived guilt? Yeah...
by Hym Iam May 28, 2023
Get the A Jesusmug.