would Jesus microwave a burrito? 

would jesus microwave a burrito?
or just zap it with some crazy ass lightning bolt magic!

yo jesus, microwave me a burrito

would Jesus microwave a burrito? by God September 27, 2004

real men love jesus 

Christian heterosexual human males that were born male, and believes himself to be male, (so no puppets or androids) show affection towards another male who lived 2000 years ago named Jesus, who is also the one and only Son of the God of the Christian tradition. This love is one of admiration and worship, not necessarily sexual in nature.

Real men love Jesus, so I don't think that Pinocchio counts.

real men love jesus by Smrff February 3, 2008

thank you jesus 

when not to praise the lord and savior but to reconize a comical or superior situation

look at the ass on that girl right there. " thank you jesus "

thank you jesus by the BEAST July 6, 2004

Alabama Jesus 

An extremely good college football player from the state of Alabama, who all the rednecks in the state speak of in a higher regard than Jesus.

Redneck: Did you hear Mark Ingram just won the Heisman?
Redneck 2: Step aside Joe Namath, we have a new Alabama Jesus.

Alabama Jesus by buhzinga December 12, 2009

Kung-fu jesus 

A bloody wanker, who everybody hates

Everybody hates Kung-Fu jesus

Kung-fu jesus by CommiePinko December 24, 2008

Secret Jesus

Same concept used with Secret Santa during Christmas where everyone draws a name out of a hat and gifts the other person. Secret Jesus is used when participating with a Christian family primarily because Santa is believed to be of the devil and the gift exchange happens on New Year because Christmas Day is reserved for Jesus.

Person 1: "Hey, are you doing Secret Santa with your family this year?"

Person 2: "Nah, my family are fanatical Christians. It's more like a Secret Jesus gift exchange.

Secret Jesus by scorpiotail December 29, 2010

hebe-jesus

The feeling of creepiness emitted by Jesus Christ.

Little Church Boy: Wow Jesus, you really must have been popular!
Jesus: *stares*
Little Church Boy: uhhh your giving me the hebe-jesus

Jesus: *stares intensely*

hebe-jesus by Hebe-Jeebies July 18, 2014