a piece intended to be read without mirth but that could easily be published in The Onion; accidental satire
There are so many unintentional sexual puns in this article that it's hard to take it seriously. It's a Found Onion.
by schmub October 16, 2014
Get the Found Onionmug. by Baller life January 7, 2017
Get the founding farmersmug. Person 1: I remember "Raditude Dog Found In Pinkerton, What Happens Next Is Shocking" was actually a placeholder name, what was the intended name?
Person 2: Sandstorm
Person 2: Sandstorm
by wbc fan February 18, 2024
Get the Raditude Dog Found In Pinkerton, What Happens Next Is Shockingmug. by Liandrin Sedai March 30, 2025
Get the founding faggermug. by Mudsaur May 16, 2015
Get the Ive found wally!mug. A cheerful non sequitur and glorious escape hatch from awkward, controversial, or brain-melting conversations. When someone exclaims, “I found a purple rock!”, they are essentially waving a shiny distraction to derail a discussion that has taken an uncomfortable, heated, or overly complicated turn. It is the verbal equivalent of changing the subject faster than you can say tax policy or crypto investing.
Use it when the conversation drifts toward politics, religion, sex, or any other topic that makes you wish you were home talking to your cat. The beauty of it? Nobody can argue with a purple rock.
Author’s Note:
Inspired by years of dodging family dinner debates and surviving small talk with strangers. Because sometimes, the only way out of a bad conversation is geological.
Use it when the conversation drifts toward politics, religion, sex, or any other topic that makes you wish you were home talking to your cat. The beauty of it? Nobody can argue with a purple rock.
Author’s Note:
Inspired by years of dodging family dinner debates and surviving small talk with strangers. Because sometimes, the only way out of a bad conversation is geological.
Example:
A: “So, how do you really feel about the election results?”
B: “I found a purple rock!”
A: “…Cool! Where?”
Example:
A: “So how’s your love life going?”
B: “I found a purple rock!”
A: “So, how do you really feel about the election results?”
B: “I found a purple rock!”
A: “…Cool! Where?”
Example:
A: “So how’s your love life going?”
B: “I found a purple rock!”
by Thejocdoc November 7, 2025
Get the I found a purple rock!mug. 
Get the I have found your IP addressmug.