by lov.aire June 5, 2020
Get the conan gray mug.A popular nickname for a not-so-popular company.
Traversing their way around the nether-regions of the UK is Canal Coaches. Offering shite service is simply not enough for Canal's; shite value, shite busses and an appalling safety record combine to make Canal's one of the least-like companies in the history of Lincolnshire transport. Even more so than Microsoft, I believe.
Canal's vehicles, bought in 1969 and not serviced since, have become some-what of a laughing point. You don't actually have to see the company livery to recognise a Canal's vehicle, the plumes of black smoke, the door that won't shut and the squelling fan-belt give it away well before that.
To give you an impression of what a Canal's coach is like to ride on, just imagine sitting on the manifold of a full-reving 1950's diesel engine, while listening to Steps and trying to ignore the vomit stain that is caked to the back of the seat in front. Nice, I'm sure you'll agree.
Complimenting Canal's appalling busses are Canal's appalling drivers. Beauty is not important for a Canal's driver, since any mention of the words 'Canal's Coaches' are sure to distrupt any courting ritual. A sense of direction, or, for that matter, an ounce of intelligence, are not important, since the boss doesn't know himself what the word 'Contract' means.
Canal's not-so-impressive safety record is also laughable. The frequency of accidents is somewhat alarming, the odd wheel falling off during a journey is not uncommon, and neither is the fire-escape randomly opening as you are going down a motor-way. Telling the driver that their is oil pouring out of the back of his bus is pointless, since he won't do anything, and even if Canal's could afford some oil, they'd only pour it down the drain anyway.
Traversing their way around the nether-regions of the UK is Canal Coaches. Offering shite service is simply not enough for Canal's; shite value, shite busses and an appalling safety record combine to make Canal's one of the least-like companies in the history of Lincolnshire transport. Even more so than Microsoft, I believe.
Canal's vehicles, bought in 1969 and not serviced since, have become some-what of a laughing point. You don't actually have to see the company livery to recognise a Canal's vehicle, the plumes of black smoke, the door that won't shut and the squelling fan-belt give it away well before that.
To give you an impression of what a Canal's coach is like to ride on, just imagine sitting on the manifold of a full-reving 1950's diesel engine, while listening to Steps and trying to ignore the vomit stain that is caked to the back of the seat in front. Nice, I'm sure you'll agree.
Complimenting Canal's appalling busses are Canal's appalling drivers. Beauty is not important for a Canal's driver, since any mention of the words 'Canal's Coaches' are sure to distrupt any courting ritual. A sense of direction, or, for that matter, an ounce of intelligence, are not important, since the boss doesn't know himself what the word 'Contract' means.
Canal's not-so-impressive safety record is also laughable. The frequency of accidents is somewhat alarming, the odd wheel falling off during a journey is not uncommon, and neither is the fire-escape randomly opening as you are going down a motor-way. Telling the driver that their is oil pouring out of the back of his bus is pointless, since he won't do anything, and even if Canal's could afford some oil, they'd only pour it down the drain anyway.
"I rode on a bus owned by Canal Coaches last night- the driver fucked my wife and the bus seat ate my wallet"
"The roar of the engine was enormous- shame it was because the exhausht had fallen off"
"I'd like to purchase a ticket to Hell please"
"The roar of the engine was enormous- shame it was because the exhausht had fallen off"
"I'd like to purchase a ticket to Hell please"
by Becky Barnett June 28, 2006
Get the Canal Coaches mug.Related Words
conac
• conace
• Conacher
• conachered
• conacker
• conackment
• conaco
• Conaco Christmas
• Conact
• Conactive
The act of hurting oneself while performing a stunt on a late night show. Comes from the october, 2009 incident where Conan O'brien fell hitting the back of his head as he was performing a skit with guest Terri Hatcher. A few days later, Jay Leno Pulled a Conan by banging his head during the taping of a show. He did say, however, that he would've rather Pulled a Letterman.
Dude, I didn't notice that banana peel, totally Pulled a Conan.
Pimp: What's wrong with your head?
Hooker: Pulled a Conan last night after that chinese trick!
Watch out for that banana peel, I don't want you a Pull a Conan.
Pimp: What's wrong with your head?
Hooker: Pulled a Conan last night after that chinese trick!
Watch out for that banana peel, I don't want you a Pull a Conan.
by DoriMoose October 9, 2009
Get the Pull a Conan mug.by Conan Supporter February 7, 2010
Get the Conan Withdrawal mug.someone who spends most of their time watching TV and doesn't exercise or have any interesting hobbies. Such a person spends most his/her free time sitting or lying on a coach.
by Iyad Abdelrahman March 29, 2008
Get the coach potato mug.An indie music festival held anually during Spring in Indio (Coachella Valley), California. Bands present have included Radiohead, The Pixies, Coldplay, Weezer, Rilo Kiley, Bright Eyes, The Cure, The Arcade Fire, Wilco, The Futureheads, The Faint, Snowpatrol, The Fiery Furnaces, Yeah Yeah Yeah, MIA, Atmophere, Slightly Stoopid, etc.
Coachella was sickk this year... it sucks that I have to wait a whole 'nother year to go again though.
by Kazii760 April 20, 2009
Get the Coachella mug.A: "Lou... I am like so much in my skin since I met Peter."
B: "A new crush?"
A: "Nope!... my gay life coach... now I am 100 % out of the wardrobe."
B: "A new crush?"
A: "Nope!... my gay life coach... now I am 100 % out of the wardrobe."
by rperazag July 17, 2010
Get the Gay Life Coach mug.