Simpaholics Anonymous

noun. a support group for simps who no longer wish to be simps, at times involving a self-imposed metaphorical recovery program

I don't want to hear about your ex man. It's been 6 months, stop being a simp.

Dude give me a break. I'm only on step 6 of Simpaholics Anonymous.

by CaptainHook09 June 17, 2020

Simp mode

When someone is being a simp for a while
Simp mode isn’t any regular type of simp, it’s when they adore you a LOT. Like a LOT a LOT.

Crush: Hey Y/N Simp mode
You:😳

by ClownEgirl August 4, 2020

Simp-ophile

Someone who simps over younger people typically 3 or more years younger than them

"Jake is such a simp-ophile he likes younger girls, especially that girl named kenzie?"

"but isn't she 3 years younger than him"
"yes"

by BIDDLITS August 16, 2020

Simp Queen

A woman who infiltrates a male dominated space and panders to men, typically for financial gain.

TIf you're a female gamer looking for a come up, you should know that the gaming community has become over saturated with Simp Queens like Belle Delphine, looking to make profit. However, the manosphere is an untapped gold mine of simps.

by SimpDomain January 19, 2021

SIMP

Stands for “Someone Idolizing Mediocre Pussy/Penis.” Also the synonym of PIMP. Now used as slang for treating a woman to well, especially one that doesn’t like you back.

Micheal: Buys Chloe a Gucci purse and a new car*
Chloe: Thanks you so much bro
Thomas: What a fucking SIMP!
In this case Micheal is a big simp

by PogManTommy February 22, 2021

Simp police

(1) A person who acts like the police to arrest simps. (2) A simp who is afraid that another simp will simp for the person they simp for so they "arrest" them.

"Man he acts like hes the Simp police or something."

by names-epicc June 6, 2021

simp contract

A contract written to protect people from falling into the bottomless hole of simpery. The contract includes ten injunctions. These are as such:

I. Thou shalt not spend money on the object of simpery.

II. Thou shalt not ship the object of simpery with thine self.

III. Thou shalt not lay thine eyes on fanfictions or shippy fanart.

IV. Thou shalt not browse pictures of the object of simpery for more than ten minutes a day.

V. Thou shalt not watch more than thirty minutes of videos of the object of simpery a day.

VI. Thou shalt not gush about the object of simping on thy social media.
VII. Thou shalt not show any emotion towards the object of simping.

VIII. Thou shalt not say cheesy, cringey, corny, or crusty things about the members.
IX. Thou shalt not have more than ten pictures of the object of simpery at a time. Thou shalt also not have a single shirtless or sexy picture of them.

X. Thou shalt not become an egg--smooth-brained, hairless, and lacking of common sense.

Each injunction comes with a respective punishment.

Mike: "Dude, I signed the simp contract yesterday and I've never felt so protected in my life! It's like a form of insurance so I won't fall into the shame of simping ever again."
Jimmy: "It's too late for me, man. I already broke three of the rules and now I'm going to get punished for being a simp."

by eyelidlash July 20, 2021