Salmon Toupee

A very hairy vagina that is overgown, unkept, dirty and smells extremely fishy.

Jorge picked up a hot babe at the local tavern and took her home for a romp in the sack. However, he became overwhelmed with nausea after she disrobed and revealed her Salmon Toupee. Jorge gagged as he ran out the door.

by Eaton Holgoode June 19, 2009

simon joke

a joke that was once a party starter but then simon came along and ruined it!!!

Simon: hey guys, i have a 2 inch penis.

Everybody: shut the fuck up simon
*everybody procedes to beat the crap out of simon*

Simon: no please.. THE PAIN!!!

by X1z.Lachy March 29, 2005

Barking Salmon

The act of making your sex partner (female) puke while having sex with her doggy style for the purposes of contracting and squeezing her vaginal walls. The reference comes from the twitching and contortions that the female makes while puking that looks like a salmon flopping upstream.

Bob finally got Sally to perform a barking salmon last night and things got a little messy.

by VonVytis January 20, 2006

Simon

Huge freaking cock. Amazing personality and an amazing best friend over all. You would love to be his friend even if he is short. If you end up as his girl, keep him, you wont get anyone else like him.

Simon is the most amazing guy on earth.

by Shae_loves_life003 November 9, 2017

Simon

The finest, funniest, sweetest, smartest, and most flirtatious guy a girl could ever wish to meet. He can woo any girl with just his sexy, stunning, blue eyes and golden, shimmery, blonde hair. You'll want to break up with your boyfriend just to get with him because he's that good. Although he can get to be annoying sometimes, he does it on purpose because that's his way of flirting with chicks. He can also be pretty badass to impress us girls. Simon is always there for his bros, whatever, whenever. He's pretty kick-ass at soccer, too. Every girl needs a Simon in their life, whether the relationship is platonic, romantic, and/or sexual. You can't live without him.

Girl 1: Woah, look at that guy's eyes, they are so perfect!
Girl 2: That's my boyfriend, Simon.

Girl 3: Look at that guy play soccer. He sure knows how to kick.
Girl 4: Yeah, he's incredibly hot. His name is Simon.

by downtothetenniscourt May 27, 2014

saigon subway

when you insert pvc pipe into someone's ass and roll matchbox cars down it.

I just gave my brother a saigon subway, and then we made out.

by john to the b March 29, 2007

Landing a salmon

The act of masturbrating in the bath, the rapid movement and water slashes resembling the last frantic actions of the king of fishes as it tries to escape capture.

Hey will you hurry up in there I'm touching cloth, what are you doing landing a salmon.

by ***KIN YALDY March 8, 2009