Carved Blumkin- [a.e.: "Carvin' up a Blumkin!", esp. prison lexicon]

Carved Blumkin- a.e.: "Carvin' up a Blumkin!", esp. prison lexicon- a festive sex act perpetrated upon new inmates upon their being processed into central lock up and the main prison population in American Prisons- usually occasioned on but not exclusive to Halloween. Turning a new inmate into a "carved blumkin" usually involves his person being purchased as a "wife" (read: "bitch"), in exchange for cigarettes or other such bartered items- as opposed to his merely remaining another bartered item himself (read "everybody's fuck). The act of "carving a blumkin" is therefore both a marital and Hallows Eve ceremonial process of incarceration. The celebration begins with general crotch grabbing by the guests, bachelor, and best men. This is followed immediately by smuggled spoons percussed against the bars, (a clever substitution for wedding bells), calling all to the the altar (read: commode) for the fraternal ritual defecation- followed thereupon with more spoons beating upon the bars, prompting the bachelor to carry his unsuspecting object of adoration directly to his bunk in an act of non consensual conjugal sex (read rape), as a rite of dysfunctional sexual passage... in more ways than one (read: anally). The beating of spoons on bars during the "carving of the blumkin" is the origin for many of our traditions on the outside, such as ringing spoons upon glasses to make the bride and groom kiss upon command.

Carved Blumkin- a.e.: "Carvin' up a Blumkin!", esp. prison lexicon - "Ohhh, hell yeah, check out tha' new 'fish'! Awwww! Is gom be one helluva Happy mutha freakin' all Hollowed Out eve full o' sweet new meat all up in hea! Woop woop! Soon as I pinch off dis heah loaf, I gon carve me up a piece o'dat fine assed Blumkin o' his with dis hea niggaz Holloweeny!!!"

by StalinLovesCIAfakeMSM March 2, 2013

corked and torqued

Being completely, 100% erect whilst having a cork in ones asshole.

Dave: Bobby was corked and torqued for Meghan the last time they fucked.

Jenny: What does that mean?

Dave: He had a boner and a cork in his ass.

by CorkyTorquey November 22, 2013

clarked

When you completely screw something up.

When you spell a similar word with the wrong word.

"She's growing up to be a perfect little Angle"

'Dude you totally clarked that one up, you mean angel'

by PrycePryce August 6, 2016

Corked

The act of memeing and individual into a position of power.

Bob got corked into being appointed the US Secretary of State

by dr meme December 9, 2016

Clarked

Is a state at which a boy/ man's best friend or wing man, cheats or takes advantage over the fact that his best friend isn't as "cool" or "stud" like as him. Instead of helping the boy/ man start a relationship, the best friend/ wingman creates a relationship between himself and the boy/man's crush.

God damn it! HE Clarked me! Now I am forever alone.

by Hfs stories May 22, 2017

clarkedly

'Clarkedly' is the adverb that describes that annoying point when you think you've wiped your arse, but there's always more to go.

I thought I had finished wiping my arse but I had Clarkedly carry on until clean.

by Bazd October 27, 2017

Clarked

When the user you are playing in Madden has cheat codes to gets every perfect bounce possible no matter what... in any situation by all means possible they will get the fucking lucky bounce

Madden is so bullshit, I got Clarked hardcore last night

by Ehasegolf15 December 7, 2017