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Couch Patrol

When a guy goes to a party and sits on the couch waiting for drunk, fat girls.
Nick: Are we gunna get crunked at the jam tonight?

Uncle James:Nah B I'm on couch patrol

Nick: You're dust!
by Big N64 February 25, 2009
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couch nerd

Anyone over the age of 15 who's only ambition in life is to play video games. Especially online, muliplayer, games like HALO and Black ops.
"My brother and his friend's are such couch nerds!" The only time they stop playing Black ops is to go to the bathroom or to get more Cheetos.
by Powr Botm 217 February 18, 2013
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couch dweller

A person who, buy there own choice, has no one place to live but "stays" with different friends and relatives usually until the welcome is worn out then moves to a different couch.
We will never be able to track this guy down because he's a couch dweller.

Don't write the bond on that guy as he is obviously a couch dweller.
by The King of Dinner Time September 14, 2014
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Couch-lock

When you are high from smoking marijuana and you experience a unique phenomenon during which Your skeleton is too heavy for your muscles to support you're on able to move or struggle severely, if you do move.
I just can't keep walking to the kitchen every time I want another slice of cake. I have acute couch-lock right now.
by four.25 October 1, 2019
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pouch in the couch

when a male gets their balls stuck in their couch
I was masturbating and I accidentally got my pouch in the couch.
by daddyshortlegs April 19, 2017
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Crusty Couch

A Crusty couch is a piece of furniture used frequently for masturbation.
This word is most often refers to a couch but it can also be used for a chair or a recliner.
Xavier: Hey Nathaniel, why don't you make you're self comfortable and have a seat!
Ali: Oh no! You can't sit there!
Xavier: Why not?
Ali: Dude, don't you know? That's my Crusty Couch!
Xavier: Aw ew dude! That's disgusting!
Nathaniel: I'm gonna kick your ass!
by XXXrolland September 20, 2016
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Couch Goblin

That friend who comes over without knocking, goes directly to the fridge, and then plants themselves on the couch for a 5 hours of Netflix.
David was already watching firefly on my sofa when I got out of class, I'm claiming him as my couch goblin.
by Silver_Slinky August 19, 2020
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