When you throw your kid in a lake to teach them how to swim and if they start sinking you throw them a non alcoholic beer for being a tosser
Lady: Does anyone have any recommendations for swimming lessons?
James: Just give your kid Irish swimming lessons, it's cheaper and they'll develop psychological disorders when they grow up.
Lady: ....Ok, anybody else have a better recommendation?
James: Just give your kid Irish swimming lessons, it's cheaper and they'll develop psychological disorders when they grow up.
Lady: ....Ok, anybody else have a better recommendation?
by 27DMac July 18, 2019
Get the Irish swimming lessons mug.by 123456677778876 May 4, 2022
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Code for organizing your friends to go into the other room to partake in illicit substances out of the watchful prying eyes of herbs. See “hanging a picture”.
I heard they’re showing synchronized swimming on tv. Have you seen how amazing it is? Let’s go where it’s quiet and watch it on tiktok with me.
by DrunkBabyLion August 3, 2022
Get the Synchronized Swimming mug.Hans: I was with Anna last night and things were really great and then it was all over! She acted grossed out and left!
Albert: What happened? I thought last night was going to be the party night?
Hans: Me too. I showed Heather's Vaseline to her and she looked at it like it was a swimming pool band-aid.
Albert: Well, you showed Heather's Vaseline. Anna thinks Vaseline is gross.
Baby Heather: (lisping) It was me swimming pool band-aid!! 😊👉👈
Hans: Heather, we don't mean your literal bandage in the pool.
Baby Heather: Hmm.
Albert: What happened? I thought last night was going to be the party night?
Hans: Me too. I showed Heather's Vaseline to her and she looked at it like it was a swimming pool band-aid.
Albert: Well, you showed Heather's Vaseline. Anna thinks Vaseline is gross.
Baby Heather: (lisping) It was me swimming pool band-aid!! 😊👉👈
Hans: Heather, we don't mean your literal bandage in the pool.
Baby Heather: Hmm.
by babypiratesnapchat2 February 1, 2023
Get the a swimming pool band-aid mug.When your indoor pets scratch their nasty asshole on your carpet.
Forearms pulling while backlegs off the ground so b-hole is smack on carpet. Looks like pet is swimming when actually is just scratching or wiping its ass.
Forearms pulling while backlegs off the ground so b-hole is smack on carpet. Looks like pet is swimming when actually is just scratching or wiping its ass.
by StinkyMinkey October 3, 2023
Get the Carpet swimming mug."Night swimming deserves a quiet night
I'm not sure all these people understand
It's not like years ago, the fear of getting caught
Of recklessness and water
They cannot see me naked" - R.E.M.
I'm not sure all these people understand
It's not like years ago, the fear of getting caught
Of recklessness and water
They cannot see me naked" - R.E.M.
by just an old dude June 29, 2025
Get the Night Swimming mug.Oh shit girl, you got some big ass ears. I can't wait to turn them into a West Virginia swimming pool
by Apollo1369 November 21, 2020
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