Grab My Musket

A euphamism for male masturbation, i.e., apply lip gloss, bash the bishop, beat it, beat off, beat (one's) meat, beat the bishop, buck the slobbering donkey, choke the chicken, crack one off, date Mrs. Palmer, fap, five knuckle shuffle, flog (one's) log, have a date with Rosie Palmer and her five sisters, have a tug of war with Cyclops, have a wank, jack off, jerk it , jerk off, jerk (one's) gherkin, junior Olympic pole vaulting, paint the ceiling, play pocket pinball, polish (one's) knob, pound (one's) pud – pudwhack, pud wrestle, punch the clown, punch the munchkin, rough up the suspect, rub one off, rub one out, slap the salami, spank it, spank (one's) monkey, stroke the salami, wank off – wax the carrot – wax the dolphin, whack it, whack off.

Phrase coined on 10/26/2016 by ex-Congressman Joe Walsh @WalshFreedom.

"On November 9th if Trump loses I'm gonna Grab My Musket. You in?"

by metalmixtress October 26, 2016

Mississippi meat musket

When hunting deer or wild hog. One humps the dead animal to near climax then stops and returns home to finish in the first relative they come in contact with.

Man I gave sis the ol Mississippi meat musket and uncle daddy hasn't let off it since.

by Nkratzer06 February 8, 2021

Musters

Headlights of a car.

"Damn son, you better lay them musters down before those clowns see yo ass."

by Freestyle Flow September 21, 2004

Muskrat Canadian

A typical Canadian Boy. He is unshaven, is a jeans and t-shirt kind of guy. He loves beer, hockey and all typical Canadian things. Unlike American guys, to pick up a girl he will insult her a little, instead of heavily complement her, this technique works mainly only on Canadian girls. A Muskrat Canadian often can be seen sporting plaid, wearing boot cut jeans.
They also often own a guitar.

American girl Tim said I look tired, I spent hours getting ready for tonight
Canadian girl That means he likes you! Tim's a total Muskrat Canadian! He probably wants to take you out

by Canadiangirl! December 14, 2009

Anti-masker

A person within the United States who, for one reason or another, is against wearing a mask to help prevent the spread of the 2020 COVID-19 pandemic. Generally perceived to be less intelligent than those who do wear masks. They perceive themselves as the smart ones, though, so please don't spoil their fun.

John 1: So how come you're an anti-masker?
John 2: It's perfectly legal for me to be this stupid. Why?
John 1: No reason.
(Scooches away from him on subway bench)

by MalumLibrum958 September 30, 2020

wooly musket

While someone is sleeping, squat over their face with your butt cheeks spread and fart.

That bastard gave me a wooly musket, and I think he sharted a little!

by Its The Sean October 12, 2005

Loading the Musket

The act of trying to put ones semen back into one's self after ejaculating to something they are ashamed of.

After cumming to a picture of Nicholas Cage, Sam was seen loading the musket.

by jdodds January 20, 2015