One of the world's oldest games, chess is classified as a board game, but is more like a mental sport, and is actually a massive example of the Dunning-Kruger effect. No matter how good you are at the game, you still suck, even the greatest players know they suck, and if you think you are good, you most DEFINITELY suck. All chess tournaments are competitions of who sucks least, everybody sucks to some degree, unless your name is Magnus Carlsen, and even he sucks next to a computer. It is believed (though not proven) that a perfectly-played game of chess will always end in a draw, and when someone wins, it is always because the other person fucked up.
Most people, due to pop-cultural osmosis, know the basic rules of chess, but know nothing about how to actually play the game. This frequently results in people who have a modicum of skill thinking they are "good at chess" because they've only ever played "regular" people, then when they try playing against actual chess players, they're in for a rude awakening.
If you get into chess as an adult, you will discover that 8-year-olds regularly whup your ass forwards, backwards, and sideways at the game every single time, but at least you can go home knowing that you have had sex, and they have not (though, this is also questionable if you are a chess player).
Despite the growing popularity of chess since COVID, and recent attempts to reach out to women, any given night at a chess club is almost guaranteed to be a sausage party.
Most people, due to pop-cultural osmosis, know the basic rules of chess, but know nothing about how to actually play the game. This frequently results in people who have a modicum of skill thinking they are "good at chess" because they've only ever played "regular" people, then when they try playing against actual chess players, they're in for a rude awakening.
If you get into chess as an adult, you will discover that 8-year-olds regularly whup your ass forwards, backwards, and sideways at the game every single time, but at least you can go home knowing that you have had sex, and they have not (though, this is also questionable if you are a chess player).
Despite the growing popularity of chess since COVID, and recent attempts to reach out to women, any given night at a chess club is almost guaranteed to be a sausage party.
I play chess because I hate myself.
by q359 July 24, 2023
Get the chessmug. by susuhhsug March 20, 2019
Get the chess vegansmug. by djrympled January 20, 2018
Get the unsegregated chessmug. The last Bohemian Chess Match between Dave and I ended when his mom noticed the white stain on her t-shirt
by Shdnn mcmvtkidicn February 17, 2024
Get the Bohemian Chess Matchmug. I hate stupid chess because people have lost the ability to teach themselves.
Stupid chess is not something you choose to play.
Stupid chess is not something you choose to play.
by Best matty April 8, 2024
Get the stupid chessmug. A “sport” which became largely popular in recent times because all of the popular kids in school started playing it.
An excuse for the wettest wet wipes out there to make friends.
An excuse for the wettest wet wipes out there to make friends.
Friend: Let’s go! I just destroyed this noob!
Me: Nice. What game was it?
Friend: Oh, it was chess.
Me: Never talk to me again, you wet wipe.
Me: Nice. What game was it?
Friend: Oh, it was chess.
Me: Never talk to me again, you wet wipe.
by Fr*nch Weirdo 69 May 15, 2023
Get the Chessmug. Rick: Hey John, do you wanna play chess?
John: No, chess is gay, like why are you making moves on another man?
Rick: Good point.
John: No, chess is gay, like why are you making moves on another man?
Rick: Good point.
by Abchannel12 November 17, 2023
Get the Chessmug.