A Crusty couch is a piece of furniture used frequently for masturbation.
This word is most often refers to a couch but it can also be used for a chair or a recliner.
This word is most often refers to a couch but it can also be used for a chair or a recliner.
Xavier: Hey Nathaniel, why don't you make you're self comfortable and have a seat!
Ali: Oh no! You can't sit there!
Xavier: Why not?
Ali: Dude, don't you know? That's my Crusty Couch!
Xavier: Aw ew dude! That's disgusting!
Nathaniel: I'm gonna kick your ass!
Ali: Oh no! You can't sit there!
Xavier: Why not?
Ali: Dude, don't you know? That's my Crusty Couch!
Xavier: Aw ew dude! That's disgusting!
Nathaniel: I'm gonna kick your ass!
by XXXrolland September 20, 2016

The distilled essence of couch potato. It takes years of couch potato behavior to achieve couch vodka status.
Yeah, my roommates and I were couch potatoes during undergrad. I'm still so lazy that I've graduated to couch vodka while working on my Ph.D.
by Doctor Snax July 16, 2010

Nick: Are we gunna get crunked at the jam tonight?
Uncle James:Nah B I'm on couch patrol
Nick: You're dust!
Uncle James:Nah B I'm on couch patrol
Nick: You're dust!
by Big N64 February 25, 2009

When you are high from smoking marijuana and you experience a unique phenomenon during which Your skeleton is too heavy for your muscles to support you're on able to move or struggle severely, if you do move.
I just can't keep walking to the kitchen every time I want another slice of cake. I have acute couch-lock right now.
by four.25 October 1, 2019

Anyone over the age of 15 who's only ambition in life is to play video games. Especially online, muliplayer, games like HALO and Black ops.
"My brother and his friend's are such couch nerds!" The only time they stop playing Black ops is to go to the bathroom or to get more Cheetos.
by Powr Botm 217 February 18, 2013

That friend who comes over without knocking, goes directly to the fridge, and then plants themselves on the couch for a 5 hours of Netflix.
David was already watching firefly on my sofa when I got out of class, I'm claiming him as my couch goblin.
by Silver_Slinky August 19, 2020

An ass cheek carving on couch cushions: The art of sitting home all day, not working and leaving the undeniable ass prints on a brand new/used sofa.
Guy 1: Hey dude what does your wife do for a living? Mine is making some serious cash as an Nurse.
Guy 2: My Wife is a professional Couch Denter, she sits at home, watches TV and pretends she works for the Nielsen ratings while her fat ass in on the couch.
Guy 2: My Wife is a professional Couch Denter, she sits at home, watches TV and pretends she works for the Nielsen ratings while her fat ass in on the couch.
by StiffPigeon October 28, 2011
