Snapping Turtle's Head

Snapping Turtle's Head

Adverb, Metaphor - Describes a crisis of chronic defecation.

Example
Whist the turtle's head (turd) is about to fully emerge from its shell, there happens upon it a sudden and quite shocking movement of the bowel.
Because the body believes that such a surge of power must surely occur DURING the ejection of the faeces, (even though the victim is retaining the load) the sphincter begins to air-spasm as if snapping the enormous delivery into manageable chunks. The resulting involuntary bodily event is euphemistically known as 'A Snapping Turtle's Head.

It was when I was a minute from my station and too late to escape using the toilet on the train, yet knowing that there WAS a toilet at the approaching platform, that the situation turned critical, the danger imminent! Although I had retained a calm control over the crisis I could only resign myself to the cradle of fate when my body went into SNAPPING TURTLE'S HEAD !

by TONY of SXW2 August 12, 2025

Sea Turtled

When you have a threesome with 2 women, both wearing strap ons forcing you to choke on plastic like a sea turtle

“Yeah bro, I thought it was gonna be chill, but they totally sea turtled me last night.”

by MissMartini September 7, 2025

The Awkward Perverted Turtle

Much like it's counterpart "The Awkward Turtle", but you have your middle finger extended to make it look like a it has a penis.

Ivan: "Last night I walked in on my mom taking a shower and her tits were banging!"
(Silence)
Jace: *Does The Awkward Perverted Turtle*

by Painthetownfred February 2, 2010

tugging the turtle

an uncircumcized male msturbating

Kevin was caught tugging the turtle while looking at a magazine in the bathroom at work

by bigshow2569 October 17, 2009

Poke a turtle's eye

When you masturbate while talking to those of the same sex on Oovoo

Dood Mike did you "poke a turtle's eye"?

-yeah dood, I'm poking it right now

by musicman1993 September 26, 2010

throttle a turtle

To take a large (possibly) Polish penis into ones hands, and forcibly make it go where it don't want to go

I had to throttle a turtle last night to keep my marriage alive

Mr Wriggly didn't like it , but I throttled a turtle and made him get right in there

by DrFK October 5, 2011

Jon's Turtle

Its simply everything that is in Jon's room.

Chey: Is that Jon's sister?

Aly: Nah, that's Jon's turtle.

by CaptainPancakes June 28, 2012