soccer mom

The type of woman you'd see driving in front of you on the freeway at her own pace, with a "my child is a honor student at (insert school name here)" bumper sticker and gives you the finger when you pass her up. The type of woman who has worked with her kind to control what kids say to the point where saying words like "crap" and phrases like "shut up" are inappropriate. The type of woman who has worked effortlessly to dumb down once great networks like Nickelodeon and Disney Channel to where a show about a spoiled bitch girl that has everything she wants is the only thing deemed worthy for her kids to watch. This type f woman who brain washes her kids, sucking their souls so they are nothing more than pop culture slaves that give untalented whores like Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber undeserved fame. The type of woman who encourages her daughter to dress like sluts and act as bimbos rather than developing and expressing their own individuality. The type of woman who looks down on woman who work to feed their kids and allow their kids personal freedom. This type of woman deserves no voice or say in anything because she is a waste of cells and has n real role in society.

Soccer Mom: My daughter is going with her friends to a Justin Bieber concert, he's the thing they're into these days.
Real Mom: Mine is going to alice in chains and soundgarden concert, she like those bands because people actually remember them after five years.
Soccer Mom: Ugh, your daughter is a misfit, I wouldn't be surprised if she turned out like you, she'll never be like mine
Real Mom: (laughs in her face) And that's supposed to be a bad thing?

by tech kid January 26, 2011

night soccer

a weird abbreviation I made for

"going out at night to get anal fucked"

Person 1: Hey I'm gonna go play night soccer with Jason tonight!
Person 2: That's gay.

by algebra has a death wish November 26, 2022

National kiss a soccer boy day

On November 23 you have to kiss a soccer boy :)

Hey it is national kiss a soccer boy day let’s kiss after my game;)

by Someone216 November 23, 2019

Soccer Mom

All of them are fucking bitchez.

soccer moms can suck it.

by Fuckoff January 18, 2005

soccer fags

Homos who think they are tough shit because they kick a ball around and bounce it off their heads. Seriously...balls on the head? Gaaaaaaay.

Ali is one of these soccer fags because he enjoys checkered balls on his face.

by I spelled bannanas wrong June 11, 2009

Soccer mom

A middle-upper class female who is 30-50 years old and constantly getting massages and other shit to try to look younger and sexier so their corporate husband stops screwing his secretary. Always , and i cant stress this more ALWAYS seen driving a huge-ass SVU in which a mile of gas is equal to a fuckin' flight trip from Washington D.C to Australia, usually responsible for accidents and wars over oil such as the Iraq War.Seen driving with a huge-mega-fuck size cup of coffee and blaberring publicly on her new phone and sliding in anew kidz bop 98887 cd for her kids to listen while driving them to choir and some shit like that . These abominations are responsible for ESRB, FCC, kidz bop and the Smile of a Child Network. Usually Christian and 99.9% Catholic, always bitchin' that catholism is the best religon to other Christians such as Baptists and Orthodox. Their world revoles around their kids usually named "Britney" or "Biff"- perfect little angels.The kids are usually forced to watch the Smile of a Child network, listen to Radio Disney.Always overprotected and usually never heard of the word "internet" and never watched fox because of their damn v-chip that their stupid-ass soccer mom was trying to figure out for 2 years. The kids grow up either to continue the horrid cycle or to become hardcore atheists and heroin junkies.

Example1

Dude1:Ya, im baptist dude.
Dude2:Ya, well thats fine with me
SOCCERMOM: WELL JESUS WAS CATHOLIC.
Dude1:No , he was christian dumb bitch.

Example2

Dude1: Wow , the new DeathShitMetal CD is out
Dude2:HOLY CRAP! only 9.99!
Dude1:Im'ma buy this shit now
SOCCERMOM: Excuse, what did you say young man?
-both guys have soundproof headphones on-
-soccer mom rips headphones off and says-
SOCCERMOM: IM TELLING YOUR MOTHERS , LISTEN TO SOMETHING GOOD LIKE CELINE DION
Dude1:No way, that bitch makes my ears bleed.
-soccermom covers kids ears-
Soccermom:How dare you say those things around my kids!
-guys pull out AK-47s and wipe out the whole soccer mom population-

by awsomeo2000 February 17, 2009

soccer guys

The most fit athlete there is. Do you see any soccer man with a big fat gut ? no you dont they have freakin six packs. In other sports you see men like this including football, ESPECIALLY baseball and maybe basketball. They are so yummy .

hey did you see the hot soccer guys over there ?

by haters gunna hate September 5, 2011