SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermi

Some neurosurgeon posted a definition for masturbate with a bunch of synonyms and decided it would be a good idea to make them all one big link, which is how you got here to this page. Here's to that genius.

I hope that person catches AIDS from masturbating.

SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement.

by Catamount June 21, 2008

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jackinini

fat annoying person ((made up by ned flanders from the simpsons))

Homer:YOU HAVE TO MOW MY LAWN IN YOUR WIFE'S SUNDAY DRESS!!!
Ned:YOU GOT YOURSELF A DEAL YOU JACKININI!

by sam tonge October 7, 2008

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Face-Jacking

When a friend forgets to logout of Facebook, Face-jacking is the art of making them appear to have written hilarious status updates about their own sister, become "fans" of lame things, and "like" anything and everything.

Not to be confused with a botched female circumcision, or jack nasty face

1. Cam: Why does Tim like my status?
Matil: Tim seems to like my status too?
Ben: Why would he like my status, when its just me talking about how good looking i am?

Matil: Looks like classic Face-Jacking

2. Why the hell am I a fan of both 'I hate crocks' and 'I hate the people who hate crocks' ?? Damn Face-Jacking...

by Mad Dweeb November 4, 2009

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Jacking Off

When a guy makes a fist and slides it back and forth across his penis for pleasure

Cami : Thanks for working out with me today!
Olivia : No problem I just love working out at Planet Fitness!
Ben : Ahhhh! Ahhhh! Ahhhh! Boob's & Legs
Chad : Ahhhh! Ahhhh! Ahhhh! Long Hair & Gym Shorts
Steve : Ahhhh! Ahhhh! Ahhhhh! Sock's & Scrunchie's
Cami : Uh why are those guy's over there Jacking Off?
Olivia : Because silly we are hot!
Cami : Then why is that one guy Jacking Off to our socks and hair scrunchie's?
Olivia : Hell I don't know he's probably retarded?
Steve : Hey pretty girls care if I sniff your socks? Ahhhh! Ahhhh! Ahhhhh!
Olivia : Uh maybe we should go across the street and work out at the new Gold's Gym?
Cami : Uh yeah im with you!
Chad : God Damn't Steve will you quit Jacking Off your scaring off all the pretty girls!
Steve : Ok im sorry Chad me bad! Ahhhh! Ahhhh! Ahhhhh!
Chad : I SAID STOP IT NOW!
Steve : SPLAT! OOPS!
Chad : YOU FUCKING IDIOT YOU SPRAYED CUM ALL OVER ME!
Ben : LOL!
Chad : FUCK YOU BEN!
Steve : I can't help myself I just love Jacking Off! (wink)

by SlopNChop April 18, 2019

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