Hokey Cokey Merchant

The HCM is an 'associate' member of Alcoholics Anonymous who seems for whatever reason, unable to stay sober for more than a few days/weeks/months.The HCM will mostly blame their failure on the weather/football results/lack of sex/willpower/backbone.
They are generally to be found around Reading AA meetings looking pasty/yellow/sorry for themselves.
"Knees bend arms stretch ra ra ra"
by Charles October 14, 2004
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also known as Kings Point. Its a place where one wears a silly costume (uniform), does plenty of excercise(looking at porn) and of course is well hydrated, with more alcohol than you can imagine. But what do you expect from a school full of sailors. Unlike the sissies at the Naval Academy, we know how to drink and chase women of the night. We are given a whole year to do it on commericial ships. Located in Great Neck NY we proudly display our Nazi Flagpole, in a Jewish Community. Need I say anything else about an establishment that when you graduate you are given choices to actually make a ton of money, and not have to go active duty. Because why fight in the war, when you can profit off of it.
by salty seaman September 23, 2005
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Filth Merchant

Lady of dubious looks and morals. Often found frequenting Walkabout in Bristol circa 2000-2006. Many of which go on to get ploughed that evening.
Those two filth merchants better turn up to the hotel organised cocktail making tomorrow. They'll get something in their drink they didn't bargain for.
by AthleteIntelectualLover September 20, 2022
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Safety Car Merchant

Safety Car Merchants are drivers in Formula One who often use the safety car to win races, or in rare cases, World Championships. One notable example of a safety car merchant is Fraudstappen, who robbed the 2021 championship off the back of a fraudulent call during a safety car from world class robber Michael Masi. Fraudstappendogs claim this championship is legitimate, even though it wasn’t.
Fraudstappendog: MAX IS MY FAVOURITE DRIVER!!!!
Person: Your favourite driver is a safety car merchant
by realistpenduhater November 03, 2023
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noise merchant

A right-wing nut job who peddles conspiracy theories that are not based in fact, have little evidentiary support, and are targeted toward non-critical thinkers who are generally gullible.
Alex Jones and Rush Limbaugh are not journalists but simply noise merchants.
by Big Grinder June 18, 2019
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Sideways merchant

Someone that takes pictures with their face at more than a 45 degree angle.
Did you see Olly's selfie? He really is a sideways merchant isn't he!
by XxSniperAssassin27xX April 26, 2023
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Garbage Merchant

Any retailer that sells junk, knowingly defective products, has shitty or non-existent technical support, and just sells completely and utterly useless crap. Garbage Merchant products should be bought and thrown directly in the trash. If you purchase from a Garbage Merchant, consider that you have just made a donation to them and got next to nothing in return.
Some examples of Garbage Merchant sales items include: 1) Anything at a dollar store, 2) knick-knack shops, 3) most independently owned, used car dealerships.
Two shoppers at a dollar store:

Shopper One: "This place has a lot of cheap crap."
Shopper Two: "Yeah, it's basically a Garbage Merchant."
by Jordicolas November 16, 2020
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