Captain Internet is antithesis of Captain Obvious. Instead of stating the obvious, Captain Internet will quote random and obscure facts that briefly made headlines on the Internet days, sometimes years, prior. That's not to say that Captain Internet has all this information in their head and ready to spout at will, the memory of Captain Internet remembers only pieces of the fact, just enough to perform a successful search of the Internet. Often the reference will come up in conversation and days later, Captain Internet will strike with a link about "that thing we were talking about" or two Captain Internet's will have a duel and attempt to prove that they were the first to learn about a given piece of information.
Captain Internet's pride comes not from knowing facts, or even providing useful information, but from knowing something that someone didn't know and proving that they knew it first.
While Captain Internet is a relatively new phenomenon, they are direct descendants of Captain Encyclopedia, who dominated post-conversation follow-up throughout most of the 20th century. Their rise has in part been aided by the posting site Reddit, since posts are time-stamped, allowing Captain Internet to prove that they were first to learn something.
Captain Internet's pride comes not from knowing facts, or even providing useful information, but from knowing something that someone didn't know and proving that they knew it first.
While Captain Internet is a relatively new phenomenon, they are direct descendants of Captain Encyclopedia, who dominated post-conversation follow-up throughout most of the 20th century. Their rise has in part been aided by the posting site Reddit, since posts are time-stamped, allowing Captain Internet to prove that they were first to learn something.
*** sometime in 2013 ***
friend: "have you seen this Gangnam Style video?
Captain Internet: "yes, that blew up last year. I saw it first on Youtube when it only had 100,000 views."
friend: email "look at these security images of cougars found stalking around a house in town"
Captain Internet: "I saw that on Reddit 5 days ago, here's the <link>"
friend: ".. and that's why carbon dioxide needs to be expelled from your lungs or it will become toxic.."
Captain Internet: "oh, that reminds me of this interesting lake somewhere that slowly collect carbon dioxide in it somehow.. I forget it's name"
4 days later
Captain Internet: email "here's the link for Lake Nyos, a lake in Cameroon that absorbs carbon dioxide from a volcanic vent underneath it, here's <link>"
friend: "thanks Captain Internet"
Captain Internet: "is that a real thing?
friend: "yes, I just made it up"
Captain Internet: "that's actually already on Urban Dictionary, here's the <link>"
friend: "have you seen this Gangnam Style video?
Captain Internet: "yes, that blew up last year. I saw it first on Youtube when it only had 100,000 views."
friend: email "look at these security images of cougars found stalking around a house in town"
Captain Internet: "I saw that on Reddit 5 days ago, here's the <link>"
friend: ".. and that's why carbon dioxide needs to be expelled from your lungs or it will become toxic.."
Captain Internet: "oh, that reminds me of this interesting lake somewhere that slowly collect carbon dioxide in it somehow.. I forget it's name"
4 days later
Captain Internet: email "here's the link for Lake Nyos, a lake in Cameroon that absorbs carbon dioxide from a volcanic vent underneath it, here's <link>"
friend: "thanks Captain Internet"
Captain Internet: "is that a real thing?
friend: "yes, I just made it up"
Captain Internet: "that's actually already on Urban Dictionary, here's the <link>"
by Kar Man May 20, 2013
Get the Captain Internetmug. Protect the environment, or he'll fucking kill you!
by Ghost Dog X August 12, 2009
Get the Captain Planetmug. An inspirational leader capable of swaying peoples opinions with the tip of his finger! A born leader, bent on helping those in need and caring for each of his followers. He is a patriot to his ideals but sometimes contradicts them. But that just makes him closer to humanity. His ideals are hipocracy and moralism. Mostly he is a moralist. True captain's needs outweigh the needs of the many.
1) True Captain DOES NOT BUY BOOTS
2) True Captain: faceless void is the true carry, every other hero is support
3) True Captain runs away at full HP. he needs to survive... for the greater good.
4) True Captain never hesitates to run from a illusion with a chronosphere.
5) True Captain never buys bottle, he gets void stone on every hero that is mana dependent
6) True Captain buys butterfly. period.
7) True Captain does not buy TP. He just doesnt need it!
8) True Captain will brainswap to get the kill. Always.
9) True Captain has inhuman reaction speeds and will do one of the following:
a) Windstick the hero that clockwerk/pudge is going to hook
b) Banish the person that a morphling waveforms into
c) Gets Hooked By teammate pudge.
1) True Captain DOES NOT BUY BOOTS
2) True Captain: faceless void is the true carry, every other hero is support
3) True Captain runs away at full HP. he needs to survive... for the greater good.
4) True Captain never hesitates to run from a illusion with a chronosphere.
5) True Captain never buys bottle, he gets void stone on every hero that is mana dependent
6) True Captain buys butterfly. period.
7) True Captain does not buy TP. He just doesnt need it!
8) True Captain will brainswap to get the kill. Always.
9) True Captain has inhuman reaction speeds and will do one of the following:
a) Windstick the hero that clockwerk/pudge is going to hook
b) Banish the person that a morphling waveforms into
c) Gets Hooked By teammate pudge.
10) Following up on 9c) True Captain gets hooked. Always.
11) Following up on 10) True Captain gets arrowed. Always.
12) True Captain carried! With two divine rapiers (droped from opponent)
13) True Captain has the ability to mezmerize opponents with unpredictable moves, making them stunned - literally and unable to think properly.
14) True Captain Crits. Always.
15) True Captain does not play support heroes (except drow ranger - silence is a support skill)
16) True Captain Bactracks. EVERYTHING.
17) True Captain does not get first blooded, if he does the game does not count.
18) True Captain knows proper grammar.
19) When True Captain wins, prepare to hear the Walrus Clap (along with giggles)
20) OMG True Captain is evolving... ting ting ting.... True Captain has evolved into Noobiestnoob
True Captain has pwned PicNik
True Captain has pwned Berbagod
Double Kill!
True Captain has pwned Pudginator
Triple Kill!
Killing Spree!
True Captaion has pwned Lord_of_War :(
Ultra Kill!
Dominating!
*Giggle + Walrus Clap*
11) Following up on 10) True Captain gets arrowed. Always.
12) True Captain carried! With two divine rapiers (droped from opponent)
13) True Captain has the ability to mezmerize opponents with unpredictable moves, making them stunned - literally and unable to think properly.
14) True Captain Crits. Always.
15) True Captain does not play support heroes (except drow ranger - silence is a support skill)
16) True Captain Bactracks. EVERYTHING.
17) True Captain does not get first blooded, if he does the game does not count.
18) True Captain knows proper grammar.
19) When True Captain wins, prepare to hear the Walrus Clap (along with giggles)
20) OMG True Captain is evolving... ting ting ting.... True Captain has evolved into Noobiestnoob
True Captain has pwned PicNik
True Captain has pwned Berbagod
Double Kill!
True Captain has pwned Pudginator
Triple Kill!
Killing Spree!
True Captaion has pwned Lord_of_War :(
Ultra Kill!
Dominating!
*Giggle + Walrus Clap*
by PicNikPic May 28, 2011
Get the True captainmug. by Purewaterdrinking June 12, 2018
Get the Captain Chickenmug. When a man believes he is running a tight ship but in reality his girlfriend is the one who calls the shots in the relationship.
Depending on the level of control the girlfriend exerts, the man maybe designated as one of the following;
1. Sailor Pants
2. Captain Pants
3. Admiral Pants
And the ultimate....
4. Lord Nelson Pants
Depending on the level of control the girlfriend exerts, the man maybe designated as one of the following;
1. Sailor Pants
2. Captain Pants
3. Admiral Pants
And the ultimate....
4. Lord Nelson Pants
'Hey Captain Pants, would you like a Baby Sham?'
Alternatively when referring to the individual, his 'Pants Rank' is sufficient;
'Sailor, what time is your Mrs arriving?'
'I hear Alicia moved in and promoted Matt to Admiral... suppose that's the last we will see of him'
Alternatively when referring to the individual, his 'Pants Rank' is sufficient;
'Sailor, what time is your Mrs arriving?'
'I hear Alicia moved in and promoted Matt to Admiral... suppose that's the last we will see of him'
by Carminator April 6, 2009
Get the Captain Pantsmug. by systemlaunch September 10, 2009
Get the captain jackmug. a perolius mate that wil make anyone who does not enjoy his company walk the plank
he goes by the code name of adam loveland and i heard he likes to molest baby pigs.
he goes by the code name of adam loveland and i heard he likes to molest baby pigs.
me:get away from me captain
i do not want to hear any of your pig raping stories
captain but luv:argggh matey then u shall walk the plank y'understand?
ME: you truly are a gay one captain you truly are
captain but luv: of course i am
i do not want to hear any of your pig raping stories
captain but luv:argggh matey then u shall walk the plank y'understand?
ME: you truly are a gay one captain you truly are
captain but luv: of course i am
by zed fusillo January 28, 2004
Get the captain but luvmug.