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turd burglar

Someone who simply steals your poop. You could be taking a nice dump, not knowing what’s hiding in your shower, or under your sink… as soon as you stand up from the toilet and turn away for a second… your turd will be gone because the turd burglar took it. You will not catch them… nor see them.. unless they’re over 34 years of age. They are either assigned to a person at the age of 6, or placed into a house when built, and will steal everyone’s turds that ever lives there.
Frank - “Yo… I just took a shit, and when I turned around to flush… it wasn’t there”

Marlo- “oh, it was probably the turd burglar
by Stinkletoot May 26, 2024
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Biggest turd in the world

The biggest turd in the world is a term used to describe Dakota Riley’s bitch ass
by Badussy lvr January 7, 2022
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Flipping Turds

"flipping turds" is essentially another way of saying nervous, worried or scared. The origin stems from the feeling that you get in your stomach when feeling any of those things and it's presumed similarity with what a turd would feel like if it were flipping around in your guts...
"I'm sure Pam is already flipping turds thinking about driving in this snow"
by GSchruth November 19, 2011
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turd whittling

When you hold a dump so long that It turns into a petrified turd where you have to push and retract the turd slowly over and over till it puts a tip on it to help slide it out.
I should’ve crapped 8 hours ago, now I’ll be turd whittling to get it out.
by URSALT August 17, 2020
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Turd

A piece of shit that comes out of the ass.
Look at the size of that turd!
by Rebel2012 July 1, 2020
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Cancer Turd

That one guy from run 3 that has a little balloon and is a little shit
Don't be a cancer turd
by Cancerous Turd 123 November 8, 2017
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Turd burglar

A Turd burglar is a mythical being that takes your turds (aka poop) from your toilet at night when everyone is asleep, similar to the tooth fairy legend.
Little boy: Mommy when will the turd burglar come?

Mother: oh honey the turd burglar only comes at night when your asleep.
by BeeftGunkle June 20, 2023
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