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FIVE. HUNDRED. CIGARETTES.

A fairly known meme from "The Orville", in which two Moclans start smoking cigarettes and order a machine to create 500 cigarettes, in which they slowly, overtime, get incredibly addicted to cigarettes.
Klyden: "The tingles! Do you feel them?"

Bortus: "I do."

Klyden: "We must have more!"

(Bortus presses a button)

Bortus: "FIVE. HUNDRED. CIGARETTES."
by manwithsomelies July 28, 2025
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five-ever

a span of time so long that calling it forever isn’t enough
Dude I ordered food at least 30 minutes ago it’s taking five-ever to come out
by BassMan24 July 30, 2025
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fivestarisco

a RESER with no rank A or golden boot
usually to describe a fat somali with a big ass forehead who cant fit through his door

literally.
You're mossing everything with that big ass forehead of urs

r u abdigaru? fivestarisco
by abdigaru August 1, 2025
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Five minutes

A period of time that is longer than minimum 20 minutes.
2.40 am
G: Baby you have to sleep

A: five minutes…

G: ok fine

3.25 am
A: baby I never imagined a human could be so stupid but then I worked with Scott. You know he used a pie chart for a set of data with negative numbers?
by The universe_actually August 13, 2025
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five-minute

"I'll be there in five minutes."
"Easy five-minute recipes"
by goog0logch September 13, 2025
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Five Points

Five Points is neighborhood in Detroit, Mi on the Westside of the city, while the neighborhood may have. a suburb feeling the area is home to a local Crips street gang known as the Hyena Crips or “83GC”, featured in The Detroit News for their tag wars against the Black P. Stones and Rollin’ 60s.
“Five Points is a quiet but dangerous neighborhood ran by the Crips street gang”—Lady Dlow
by Westside Detroiter September 19, 2025
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FiveM Brain PT 2

People with FiveM Brain:

Speak like NPCs stuck in RP mode 24/7.

Repeat the same dead insults: “random,” “ig,” “b4b,” “smd,” “fuck is you talkin’ bout,” “dickrider.”

Use “ig” to dodge any insult instead of forming a real sentence.

Get mad if you talk about real life — they only want to talk about FiveM, Discord, or their fake “city beef.”

Discord & Online Traits

Their Discords look identical:

Random rapper or e-girl pfps (bonus points if it’s blurry).

“#/# PC checks passed/failed.”

Bios full of ego and fake confidence: “I’m HIM”, “no Ls taken”, and 20 random emojis.

They’re also two-faced losers who act friendly one second, then backstab you in another Discord for clout.

The E-Dater Syndrome

FiveM Brains almost always evolve into cringe e-daters:

They fall for voices using VoiceMeeter or GoXLR, acting like a mic filter equals attractiveness.

Don’t care what someone looks like IRL — as long as they sound “bad” or “tough.”

Spend 12+ hours in Discord calls fake-flirting with people they’ve never seen.

Think “Discord relationships” are real love stories.

Girls in this scene are just as bad — wannabe ghetto, fake accents, acting “street” while living in suburbs, using slang they don’t even understand.

Long-Term Effects

Prolonged exposure to FiveM or its community can cause:

Loss of critical thinking.

No real social awareness.

Permanent delusion of being relevant.

Brain decay from constant exposure to “random” and “ig.”
Example: “He talks like an NPC and cries over his Discord girl — classic FiveM Brain PT 2.”

Example:

“Bro, what do you do in real life?”
Response: “LMAOO random, ig u broke.” (FiveM Brain detected)

Final Thoughts

The FiveM community is easily one of the cringiest on the internet — a mix of wannabe thugs, fake gangsters, e-daters, and Discord addicts who think having a 2015 account means status.

They can’t talk about real life without short-circuiting, and they think “Discord beef” equals power.
In reality, they’re just a bunch of lowlife rejects living in a fake world.

Example:
“This user is suspected to be part of a __ organization, please report any information to __.”

Accounts made in 2015 that they brag about like it’s an achievement.

Example: Copy a fake “NYC thug” personality even though they’ve never been outside their state.
by FiveMKidsAreDweebs October 7, 2025
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