Victory Wank

The Urge or need to masturbate do to heightened mood after a successful, but probably worthless event.

This term can also be combined with the infamous suicide wank for maximum experience.

Before scrubbing the floor with socks, I had finished a term paper for a class I'll probably fail. After, I enjoyed a little victory wank.

by Chronic20000k November 1, 2012

Wank Prank

While someone is sleeping you sneak into their room and put their hand on the dick like they've been wanking. Works best if someone is sleeping with them so they'll see.

Wife: "WHAT why is your hand on your dick have you been WANKING!"
Husband: "No i don't wank! *breaks down*"
Prankster: "YOU JUST GOT WANK PRANKED!!"

by True Story LOL May 26, 2015

wedgy wank

To have your pants so far up your anus you unintentionally masturbate

My pants are so far up my bum i just ejaculated. Wedgy wank

by deadlydan1991 January 5, 2015

danger wank

The act of extreme masturbation. You must "knock one out" whilst in close proximity to any of the following; Your mum, a nun, your boss, a member of parliament, George Michael. A person with capabilities to act upon catching you mid self-abuse obvisouly ups the ante. Ejaculation must be reached before your danger wank target comes (no pun intended) to investigate. The higher the chances of being discovered with one's pants down, pulling one's war face is obviously where the danger comes from. The more danger involved the harder (or softer) it is to complete the task in hand (snigger). The more dangerous the better. The chance of being arrested, pummeled by an angry father or having your hand severed by an arab's sabre means that you are a pro "Danger wanker."

"I was in my bedroom and i shouted downstairs, "Mum there's call the police there's a madman with a set of steak knives hacking me to pieces!" As soon as I heard her scream, I dropped my trousers and commenced the danger wank. As I heard her stomp up the stairs I knew i had to be quick so i upped the pace, i heard her stumble on the top step, which bought me some time. Unfortunately for me I timed my finish badly. As my mum barged through the door armed with a rollign pin I chugged all over her. I spent the evening in A&E with concusion. Now thats what i call extreme DW"

by johnnynika July 30, 2008

Coke Wank

A phrase popularized by the comedian Jim Jefferies,

Masturbating after consuming about 1+ grams of coke. By the fifth hour, when you actually have an orgasm you are so dehydrated that it's more like gelatin pellets spitting onto your chest, instead of semen.

"At this point I was really just looking forward to my Coke Wank, and the fat bitch wouldn't leave my hotel" - Jim Jefferies

by ICallThisTheDoubleBarrel June 6, 2014

wanks off

jerks off, jacks off, shakes hands with the governor, spanks the monkey, etc.

see "Prick up Your Ears"

by Fletcher Cox December 7, 2004

Wanked Out

Exhaustion brought on by excessive masturbation.

"I was at it for a solid 30 minutes, now I'm all Wanked Out!"

by Manx bloke November 5, 2006