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Counting Goats

The scientific art of counting goats, instead of sheep to increase sleep quality and an increased likelihood for achieving nocturnal emissions.
Kylie, wake up. You are counting goats in your sleep again.

Leave me alone Ben, I was having the best dream ever.
by C U Nxt Tuesday January 12, 2021
mugGet the Counting Goatsmug.

bed count

Something douchebags claim exist even though it doesn't.
1:I want to fuck that girl.
2:No. her bed count is too high.
1:Go fuck yourself.
by Joe The Autistic March 13, 2016
mugGet the bed countmug.

Count Everest

an individual of such immeasurable stature that he may be mistaken for a terrestrial rock formation. Attracts enthusiasts but should be attempted only by trained professionals.
Liam: “Whoa dude, there’s a pair of legs over there at the bar all by themselves!”
Wolfrick: “Nah bro, lean your head back and you’ll see it’s really a Count Everest”
by daltonjfk August 30, 2019
mugGet the Count Everestmug.

Goose Count

When you line up a group of troubled youngsters or gangsters and count them off to decide which one will be forced on a death march. Children are taught this via a lovely nursery rhyme.
1) It's a Goose Count, gather in line!
by frigginhost April 26, 2017
mugGet the Goose Countmug.

Count steek

Count steek is a meme that originated from a french person saying 'count' instead of 'cunt' and 'steek' instead of 'steak'.

You may also say different variations of the expression to insult others, like: Steeky count , Steekiest

Another fun way of using this is to randomly insult others or simply just shout 'count steek' to confuse others

This is also used to annoy the person who originally mispronounced these words, he is such a count.
Count steek is a funny replacement for any insult

person: 'You're a fucking count'

person: 'Shut up you steek'

person: Look at that steeky count

person: 'We have steeks at the cafeteria ! '

person: You're the steekiest person on the planet
by Countsteek June 21, 2018
mugGet the Count steekmug.

Clout Count

Adj. Refers to your follower-to-following ratio.

The amount of followers and/or number of followings on your social media platform(s).

According to Millennials and Gen Zs your following count must never be higher than your number of followers.

Adj. Clout Count can also refer to the number of "likes" or reactions on your posts.

And according to the Millennials and Gen Zs you MUST delete a photo if it does not exceed a certain amount of appreciation or if it does not surpass the amount of love than your previous post.

DISCLAIMER: Those faulty of following too many dog accounts may need to shut it down. Or if you possess a blue checkmark you have far exceeded the need to worry about your clout count.
My clout count is 875:200, what's yours?

Oh.. mine's uh... 400:1,000.
You should probably just shut it down and drop all social media, #nolove.

OMG, Becky. Did you see Sasha's clout count?

She just follows too many dog accounts.

Well, I just hit 10k. #sponsorme
by KentCook January 14, 2020
mugGet the Clout Countmug.

Count Flatula

n. A wealthy and extremely corrupt powerful politician or public figure who is not shy about farting on national television or holding press conferences right next to a dildo store.
Did you see Rudy Giuliani at the Michigan hearing? Count Flatula was leaking liquid last week, but now it’s all gas.
by Hubba Shyamal December 9, 2020
mugGet the Count Flatulamug.

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