Me: Hey bro last night I turned on the speed burner and was swiping and found your bitch on tinder. So I decided to catch her and play tinder police!
James: Really bro? I know I should’ve took my pop tarts and ran from that fucking grenade.
James: Really bro? I know I should’ve took my pop tarts and ran from that fucking grenade.
by YungTBagger January 13, 2023
Get the tinder policemug. “Yo Greg, I can’t golf Saturday. I just scored a tinder-bundle and have to get three dates in this weekend.”
“Janet, the hotties are sliding into my DMs in a tinder-bundle.”
“Janet, the hotties are sliding into my DMs in a tinder-bundle.”
by Pheebalicious May 14, 2021
Get the Tinder-Bundlemug. A tinder surprise is when you match with someone on tinder and their first message is an unsolicited dick pic/pussy pic. Like a kinder surprise except instead of a toy you get unwanted genetalia
by Seantc16 August 12, 2017
Get the Tinder Surprisemug. Here are a few ways to make yourself popular on big-name dating apps like Tinder, especially in big cities. Here are a few (unwritten!) rules in exact ascending (beginning) order:
Photofeeler
Use Photofeeler. If you don't know what that website is, search it up on your bar. Photofeeler is THE ONLY reliable website to measure your looks. Aim for 20 to 40 votes, which is the standard factor.
EMPATHY-associated pictures are always encouraged. A picture of you next to a gentle pet - a dog, a cat, a rabbit, a guinea pig, a goldfish, or such similar beings - will increase your matches by a vast percentage.
DON'T EVER use any pictures where you are posing near or inside a car or truck, regardless of how nice it looks. JUST DON'T. Unless gold diggers are what you're aiming for, please avoid the car pictures. And ESPECIALLY stay away from a car your parent or boss owns.
For reuse on dating apps
In addition to the entire Photofeeler section written above, make sure that when you are finished, prioritize the one with the highest total score (all photos should have attractiveness scores of no less than 5.0 out of 10, with an absolute minimum "confidence interval" rating of 4.0 out of 10). Contrary to popular belief, attractiveness alone will NOT get you dates. But smartness and trustworthiness combined with attractiveness will earn you multiple dates and even a whole relationship.
DO NOT mention politics or religion especially if your attractiveness score is less than 7.0.
Photofeeler
Use Photofeeler. If you don't know what that website is, search it up on your bar. Photofeeler is THE ONLY reliable website to measure your looks. Aim for 20 to 40 votes, which is the standard factor.
EMPATHY-associated pictures are always encouraged. A picture of you next to a gentle pet - a dog, a cat, a rabbit, a guinea pig, a goldfish, or such similar beings - will increase your matches by a vast percentage.
DON'T EVER use any pictures where you are posing near or inside a car or truck, regardless of how nice it looks. JUST DON'T. Unless gold diggers are what you're aiming for, please avoid the car pictures. And ESPECIALLY stay away from a car your parent or boss owns.
For reuse on dating apps
In addition to the entire Photofeeler section written above, make sure that when you are finished, prioritize the one with the highest total score (all photos should have attractiveness scores of no less than 5.0 out of 10, with an absolute minimum "confidence interval" rating of 4.0 out of 10). Contrary to popular belief, attractiveness alone will NOT get you dates. But smartness and trustworthiness combined with attractiveness will earn you multiple dates and even a whole relationship.
DO NOT mention politics or religion especially if your attractiveness score is less than 7.0.
by DeezPeanuts May 19, 2022
Get the Life Hacks to Get Matches on Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, & Other Dating Appsmug. I first heard about this when my sister was tucking in her kids on Christmas Eve...it means “chubby, “available” fingers
by Just met Kim April 21, 2018
Get the chub and tindermug. by Helenapascoe May 14, 2021
Get the tinder sharkmug. Swiping psychotically through Tinder after dinner each night of the holidays to kill time and ensure matches.
Alone in quarantine or bored stiff on their parents' couch, young singles everywhere swipe to the end of their daily allowance, reaping a heinous daily match with a past-prime hometown hottie, or the waiter from the cafe downstairs you've never seen with his mask off. Tinder Advent Calendar matches offer all the short-lived indulgence of the advent chocolates of childhood, but with the added risk of a dick pic.
Alone in quarantine or bored stiff on their parents' couch, young singles everywhere swipe to the end of their daily allowance, reaping a heinous daily match with a past-prime hometown hottie, or the waiter from the cafe downstairs you've never seen with his mask off. Tinder Advent Calendar matches offer all the short-lived indulgence of the advent chocolates of childhood, but with the added risk of a dick pic.
Harriet's Tinder Advent Calendar currently features Abs Joe from Chem, now a year-round receptionist, and Cute Window Guy who makes ugly infographics on his Instagram.
by daltonjfk December 17, 2020
Get the Tinder Advent Calendarmug.