Petting the Dog

Gently stroking of your own genitals as foreplay to masturbation or because you can not, for whatever reason, masturbate at the time and still desire an erection

"I was with Dick and he just started petting the dog."

"I wish Samantha would pet my dog, I've got a great dane."

by Garry Larson November 12, 2011

pioting

A combination of the words "piloting" and "rioting." The causing of general bedlam and destruction by groups of operators of aircraft, acting en masse either in concert or in random synergy, flying their machines low and/or taxiing them fast through crowds of people and/or city streets, not necessarily for any constructive reason.

If the next POTUS is a piot, as is likely to be, al-Qaida's next crop of US aviation school graduates is likely to all rent small planes on the same day and go pioting in Times Square on New Year's Eve - unless they are deterred by realizing that others could do the same thing, on any day, in Mecca.

by bushileeger911 September 19, 2007

putting my face on

Putting on makeup

Boy: What is taking so long? We have to be there in 10 minutes.
Girl: Why don't you calm the fuck down! I'm putting my face on.

by catfish2124 September 26, 2013

putting you off

to not hang out or to lower in priority of things to do/people to meet or talk with.

Person A: Are we still on for the movies tomorrow?

Person B : I'm putting you off till tuesday because I have a doctors appointment

by yoloyolo5454545 October 14, 2013

putting bandaids on bullet wounds

1) To apply extremely limited resources to resolve massive problems. 2) To try to fix an extremely large problem, usually caused by some idiot (ie. your boss) that you are expected to pull some fairy dust out of your ass to fix.

Eric: What's going on man?
Bryan: Cleaning up this mess Antonia made.
Eric: Nothing you can't handle.
Bryan: Hardly. I will be putting bandaids on bullet wounds trying to keep this shit from going South.

by blckexec January 24, 2015

Petting the skunk

Touching a smelly vagina

When Bobbi took her pants off, Walter was disgusted at the stench but decided he was petting the skunk anyways.

by Nerdc0re August 17, 2014

Putting the mustache on the unicorn

When you send a phrase to urban dictionary from three different accounts to get it published

My definition wasn't good enough so I'm putting the mustache on the unicorn

by WillyDickCox April 11, 2015