Wanking Simon

A variation of the "Peeping Tom", the "Wanking Simon" also falls into the wider subcategory of the "Peep-Wank". Like his cousin Tom, the Wanking Simon will be found peeping through chinks in the curtain or gaps in the timber Venetian blinds at unsuspecting victims who are in a state of undress. The Simon will be simultaneously getting his wank on, hence the name "Wanking Simon". Participants commonly engage in sweater-wearing, as it has been found that a tight knit weave is perfect for brushing over the beaded brow expected from such exertion.

"Why, look at that man over there! He's peeping through the gaps in the timber Venetian blinds of the neighbour's spa house! What is he doing?"

"He's wanking! And look! He's wearing a sweater!"

"By God, you're right! It's a Wanking Simon! Call the police!"

by Hauparu Bay December 17, 2011

wanking spanners

An alternative name for your hands.
obviously used while masturbating.

im away to the toliet to tighten my nuts with my wanking spanners.

by Codiak July 31, 2003

Gangster Wanking

when you chronically masterbate to hip hop videos and so forth!

Conner: william why do you always watch hip videos?
William: because im a gangster wanking!

by trippywill May 11, 2013

coin wanking

the act of jangling change held in a suit trouser pocket, usually performed by male office workers whilst stood chatting to colleagues

to stand near someone, chatting to them, but simultaneously coin wanking by caressing and fondling the change in your pocket

by buzzub January 30, 2009

wanking chariot

The bed of a teenager, usually raised several inched off the floor by used kleenex.

c 'ya lads, Im off to my wanking chariot to go and knock one out.

by Codiak July 31, 2003

Wankling

A young wanker.

"One day you will be a wanker, young wankling."

by Little Lord WTF? November 18, 2013

Wanking Up

When you wake up with an erection and you masturbate it

"Woah I heard you doing something this morning"

"Yeah Jeff. I was just wanking up"

by TheBurntJew January 7, 2017