An Oxfam shyster is someone who tries to get a further discount in a charity shop (which may or may not be a branch of Oxfam) or who attempts to use the shop as a rubbish bin. Typical tactics include yelling, "I want to donate these, thank you!", leaving a large bag of (say) books at the counter and scooting out the door. Closer examination reveals a single layer of halfway good books (or just covers) overlying a mass of unsaleable and often physically unreadable mulch. The shop is left to discard the mulch because the Oxfam shyster couldn't bother their pretty little fat white arse to take the stuff to the dump themselves. Unlike the private citizen, the shop, being a charity, is (at least under Irish/EU law, dunno about America) obliged to pay a heavy charge on recycling, but who cares? As long as the Oxfam shyster gets their narcissistic business over and done with, that's fine with them, they're all right, Jack, and that's all that matters.
Another tactic is demanding a further discount off already rock-bottom prices because they need the money for something else. Food for the kids, petrol to get home, tins of dog or cat food, you name it. This is typically preceded by a pretense that they can't read price tags, and accompanied by an attempt to make it look like butter wouldn't melt in their mouths by saying they don't want the goods for themselves, but for a kid/relative/whatever who might need the info at a difficult time. Listen, love, if you need more money for petrol but can't afford the extra price of a cheeseburger, have you considered cycling?
Oxfam shysters can be of any age or either gender, but they tend to be elderly women more often than not, probably because this is the slice of the demographic best able to pull off the loveably-gaga routine, while at the same time being least likely to get a richly deserved kick in the toothless jawbone from the sort of well-meaning sucker who is likely to be running the shop. Beware the Oxfam shyster.
Another tactic is demanding a further discount off already rock-bottom prices because they need the money for something else. Food for the kids, petrol to get home, tins of dog or cat food, you name it. This is typically preceded by a pretense that they can't read price tags, and accompanied by an attempt to make it look like butter wouldn't melt in their mouths by saying they don't want the goods for themselves, but for a kid/relative/whatever who might need the info at a difficult time. Listen, love, if you need more money for petrol but can't afford the extra price of a cheeseburger, have you considered cycling?
Oxfam shysters can be of any age or either gender, but they tend to be elderly women more often than not, probably because this is the slice of the demographic best able to pull off the loveably-gaga routine, while at the same time being least likely to get a richly deserved kick in the toothless jawbone from the sort of well-meaning sucker who is likely to be running the shop. Beware the Oxfam shyster.
by Fearman February 1, 2008
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shomyster • shoyster • shyster • Shmastered • Shyster Meister • shagmyster • shamster • Shimster • Shmister • Shmonster
(adjective) used to describe one person who knows enough about everything to start a conversation but once they begin talking on a topic, you relize they know nothing about it. They try to use big words and fancy sentence structure to make it sound as if they know what they are talking about when they really dont. These people are often thought of as "know-it-all's" when they really know nothing. They are often proven wrong and are rarley and expert in any subject.
Dude 1 "bro, i met this babe last night and she had it all, she was hot, succesful, and knew everything about everything!"
Dude 2 "oh, that girl. I talked to her too. she was just a shmister, i wouldnt go for that"
Dude 2 "oh, that girl. I talked to her too. she was just a shmister, i wouldnt go for that"
by surfrat96 November 15, 2011
Get the Shmister mug.by John Hinsdale May 23, 2003
Get the shamster mug.Someone who outwardly appears to be charitable, decent and successful but is actually just keeping up a mendacious ‘show’.
In order to function in the wider world, a Showmaster will try to constantly emanate such qualities as kindness, honesty and generosity whilst concealing the dishonesty, avarice and selfishness which defines their true self.
Showmasters should not be confused with simple liars. The duplicitous nature of the Showmaster’s existence requires great bravado and intricate planning. The effort that goes into maintaining their web of deceit should not be underestimated.
We all know a Showmaster or two but spotting them can be very difficult.
In order to function in the wider world, a Showmaster will try to constantly emanate such qualities as kindness, honesty and generosity whilst concealing the dishonesty, avarice and selfishness which defines their true self.
Showmasters should not be confused with simple liars. The duplicitous nature of the Showmaster’s existence requires great bravado and intricate planning. The effort that goes into maintaining their web of deceit should not be underestimated.
We all know a Showmaster or two but spotting them can be very difficult.
by cardman December 9, 2008
Get the Showmaster mug.Adjective: A state of being drunk; so drunk that It controls all future actions and functions of the body from the point of being shmasterd.
I was so shmastered last night that i pissed on my backback in the kitchen then passed out in the bathtub.
by The Carpdizzle July 23, 2009
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