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bilateral samsonite

Known to EMTs and paramedics, the individual who needlessly calls 911 for an imagined emergency and is waiting on the curb with two packed suitcases when the ambulance arrives, assuming that he or she will be staying in the hospital for some time (where hopefully personal attention, sympathy, food, and pain medications will be administered).
We thought we were responding to a heart attack, but we actually had a bilateral samsonite.

Her bogus respiratory distress complaint was actually a bilateral samsonite.
by Artmedic March 25, 2010
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Samsonite's Sign

A suitcase or suitcases accompanying an elderly or special needs person to the Emergency Department or other hospital waiting room. A sure sign that someone has abandoned the poor individual to the care of healthcare professionals and Society. Named after the world's largest luggage manufacturer producing hardshell luggage honoring the Biblical strongman "Samson."

People presenting with Samsonite's Sign require a great deal of care and are often abandoned by overly tired caregivers. Presently, there is no cure for Samsonite's Sign but many community groups are developing respite care programs for caregviers.
Example: On average, 2 out of 5 patients arrived with Samsonite's sign.
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Georgia Samsonite

A trash bag that is used to carry belongings instead of a suitcase. Usually used by broke college students who can’t afford a suitcase.
Damn, look at Joe’s poor ass hauling around that Georgia Samsonite
by Supermaniacjoey44 October 9, 2023
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carrying samsonite

Of or pretaining to emotional baggage.

To have one or more emotional issues, usually having to do with a relationship from the past or from a traumatic event. These emotional issues can often prevent or wreak havoc on future relationships and be detrimental to ones over all true happiness.
At first I thought that chic was amazing, but then i realized she was carrying samsonite. I had to bail on her.
by Brooks J. Masterson May 6, 2006
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emotional Samsonite

Vince: Hey Seth are you still seeing Monica?

Seth: No way man, I never called her, she's got baggage

Vince: Dude, everyone's got baggage, get over it

Seth: No I'm serious man, she's got an emotional Samsonite... in fact she's got the whole matching luggage set
by Urban Englander June 12, 2009
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Samsonized

To make something better or to improve it.
Man you really samsonized your ride.
by TDBE May 14, 2018
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Samsonize

You need to Samsonize your ride.
by TDBE May 14, 2018
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